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FATHER GRAHAM COLBY RIP

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FATHER GRAHAM COLBY of THE ORATORY

FATHER GRAHAM COLBY OF THE ORATORY WAS BURIED YESTERDAY AFTER 12 NOON MASS AT THE ORATORY IN LARNE.

PAT’S HOMILY

“Many funerals are celebrated by priests and ministers who did not know the deceased when they lived.

That can lead to the celebrating priest or minister painting a very unrealistic picture of the departed person.

That is not happening today. I knew Father Graham for 20 years and he has lived  near me in Larne for 15 of those years.

Most of Graham’s friends had a love/no love lost relationship with him. And t hat was he and I too.

Our relationship was a mixture of warmth and frustration.

Graham was born in the South of England. He parents were very aloof and they gave Graham the impression that was not as good and others – which gave him a feeling of inferiority and a fear of groups of people.

This left him feeling rejected, hurt and at times angry and lonely. 

He was born into the Church of England but very early felt called to the Catholic Church and so he converted. Steadily he felt called to priesthood and having a great love for tradition and the Latin Mass he joined the Society of St. Pius X at Econe in Switzerland. He loved the rebel archbishop Marcel Lefebvre.

archbishop_lefebvre1

Eventually he moved to a French archdiocese and later returned to England where was ordained by an independent catholic bishop.

In the early 2000’s he found himself without a bishop and appealed to me to adopt him – and I did. He joined The Oratory Society in 2004.

Graham would have been a perfect candidate for one of those TV shows about hoarders who fill their homes with attractive and unattractive bric-a-bac. 

Those who involved in his two most moves knew to our cost, the amount of clutter he had collected over the past 50 or 60 years. 

Because of his childhood experienced very severe anxiety condition and also a very debilitating essential tremor. He also developed a social phobia.

He tried handling these conditions with copious betablockers which did his heart no good. He also developed an addiction to what Ian Paisley used to call the Devil’s Buttermilk. And that became a very big problem.

Last year I spent a solid 6 months driving Graham to all kinds of doctors and counsellor. Eventually we arrived at the day before he was due to go into hospital for detox and rerhab. We had one last appointment that day with a consultant who told him that the treatment would cost £20,000 and therefore he asked Graham to declare that he would make a very serious effort to decide not to drink again. In his posh English accent Graham replied

ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE PESKY TEMPERANCE SPOIL SPORTS THAT WOULD DEPRIVE A MAN OF A GLASS OF WINE ON CHRISTMAS DAY”?

We were both quickly ushered out of the doctor’s office – and that was the end of detox and rehab.

There was no detox or rehab and so it was back to cider soup.

Many people were very good to Graham.

There was Brother Jim – a fellow Little Brother – who cooked for him, did his laundry and was at his beck and call night and day. It started off well but Graham’s demands became impossible and there was a divorce.

There was his ex army chum – Colin – an army cooked who made him many nice dinners. But that relationship was choppy too.

There were Carole and Kevin who had him in their home and visited him in hospital.

There was Alison – the supervisor of the fold we got him into some time ago.

There was Angela who cleaned and shopped for him.

And then there was Father Paul – an Oratory priest – who visited him regularly – listened patiently to his woes and who washed his laundry.

Life throws up all kinds of problems in our paths. Often we find solutions. But some problems have no human solutions.

And that’s when Doctor God steps in!

Graham had finally run out of options and solutions and God said: “Big Fella, its time you came home to me”.

That happened at 2 am last Friday morning when Graham, already unconscious simply stopped breathing.

He heart and liver had failed.

St Augustin said

” OUR HEARTS WERE MADE FOR YOU O LORD AND WE SHALL NEVER FIND REST UNTIL WE REST IN YOU!

Graham is finally at rest – no anxiety – no essential tremor.

And for that today we say” 

THANKS BE TO GOD.

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94 replies on “FATHER GRAHAM COLBY RIP”

Father Graham sounds as though he were a bloody handful, but you all did your best for him.
Well done, good and faithful servants.

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3.36: A bloody handful…..a little like you Magna. I can just imagine the bloody, awkward handful you’d be if being minded with your crazy behaviour, especially in your drunkenness. Fr. Graham at least allowed some human deceny shine through his sufferings. God grant him good peacefulness.

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The more traumatised people are often the most difficult to love. It strikes me that members of the Oratory Society were indeed neighbours to this man, indeed “Good Samaritans” with all the implications Christ intended to show by that parable. R.I.P. Fr Graham.

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Very moving Homily Pat .It moved me very much .
It was fair , balanced , and captured the struggles ,
and also his Priesthood so much focused on tradition ,
and Latin Mass . God reward all of you for making this journey with Grahem .
And you for being his Bishop when so many clergy today have no real spiritual home .
I smile at the big fella going home – Father Richard

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Your sermon is very vivid and even though I never met Fr Colby I do feel as if I know him after reading your sermon.

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@11.56am Do not be totally idiotic and silly. There is a major difference between the Gospels and a sermon from Pat Buckley. Do you not realise how daft you sound?

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It was the method you enquired about (to put the best construction on an ignorant outburst) not the content. @ 12.43

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Pat, what is a gay man like me meant to do to get a bf? The likes of Grindr, Scruff, Blue and FatBottomBoys are seedy beyond words and the men there are not interested in a relationship.
Is it an impossible dream for me to meet a man who eg would go on holiday with me and go to the gym with me or is mindless sex with strangers the best I can hope for?

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No. The search for a loving partner is difficult, but you need to keep searching. There is someone out there for you.

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8.49 – TBH if you go about your daily life you’ll meet what you’re looking for, but it is more difficult for gay men.

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It is not more difficult for gay men. It is difficult for all people to find the right partner to share life with. Be under no illusion, this comes easy to nobody. The most important thing is to be confident in yourself as an individual. Be somebody that another person wants to share their life with. Best of luck with your quest.

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9.05: A very ignorant comment and unnecessary. That up in, dismissive wird “homo” is offensive. Irrespective of that, God rest his good soul. Fr. Colby showed that in a broken humanity, goodness can break through. Pity many of the commentators on here can’t have that same goodness of heart and spirit.

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9:53.

Grow up! Have you seen the things Pat has said about people on this site? He does not give anyone he writes about respect so why should we give it to people he values. If anything his value is an indication of this man being disturbed and mentally inept.

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@MarshallsMoobies;
You gain nothing if you behave in the same manner that you are critical of. It shows an outright lack of integrity on your part to behave in a manner that you consciously know to be wrong.

Be the change you seek in the world. People follow examples, not words.

Moreover, when Pat does what you criticise him of the other person generally can reply; or Pat openly acknowledges that he is only giving his side of a story, Eg. Pat’s experiences with Parish Priests early on in his ministry.

In this case Fr. Graham has died. The appropriate response here is to pray that this challenged and challenging man rests in peace, and pray in thanksgiving to God for those who showed Fr. Graham mercy.

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Yes, a cheap and unpleasant comment, though accurate in the case of the SSPX, who along with all the traditionalists are obsessed by “homos” whom they like to pretend are all “trendy liberals”.

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Are you saying that all those gloved acolytes and train-bearers and slipper-carrying altar boys who attend on cardinal Burke are not doing it solely or even primarily for the glorification of God?

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What do McCarrick, Tobin, Mahoney, Daanneels, Bergoglio, Ledwith, Cocopalmerio, Hume, CMOC and James Martin SJ have in common? All are gay and arch-liberal. The only recent straight liberal was Kieran Conry.

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This litany is frequently repeated by you. It gets very tiresome and tedious. One wonders which is the greater crime: to have been born with same-sex attraction or to have chosen a liberal perspective on the world.

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Fr Colby sounds to have been a real fun guy. Was the Oratory packed to the rafters? What a deeply moving tribute indeed. I’d say his grave will become a place of pilgrimage.

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11.50am I think you really need to cop yourself on after posting that tripe, are you for real? So many false posts on here today, can spot them miles away.

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Pat is truly a liberal liberal. It’s vary rare to find someone so open to various points of view and it’s a refreshing change from the echo chambers of social media and most Catholic blogs of the trad or lib type.

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I have no problems with people who want to Trad. I respect their right to be that. If such a group wanted to use The Oratory for a latin Tridentine Mass I would allow it.

Father Graham celebrated the Latin Mass.

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Pat Mullaney do love a good funeral so she do declare to God, and the repair after to Le Bum Bum Café for the grand auld feed and the few drinks in her, declare to God tis true so tis

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Just as a matter of interest, Pat, do I understand that Graham was not ordained by Mgr Lefebvre? Are you able to tell us the identity of his “independent bishop”, and what ecclesial body he belonged to before coming to you. I am just curious as he sounds like a number of old English gents who were attracted to Lefebvre in the early days, when the SSPX was more homely and eccentric in England – in France on the other hand it was closely allied to le Pen and the National Front. Today in England the Society strikes me as strongly Jansenist and uptight.

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11.50 Have you hit the bottle early today suggesting the grave would be a place of pilgrimage? Maybe you were a drinking buddy of that old drunk priest. Stick a few bottles of liquor on the grave instead maybe.

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Well here is one person who will be making a pilgrimage
to Father Grahem ‘ s grave ! I also experienced him in
a different way to most people , and saw him in a different light .
At one point he was my confessor , and was met with much compassion ,
and understanding .

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On the Feast of Candlemas, St. Thomas Aquinas Seminary in Dillwyn, Virginia witnessed the taking of the cassock by those seminarians in the spirituality year of their formation and the tonsure of the those seminarians in their first year study of Philosophy.
Among those seminarians, three of them are Irish. Joseph Budds of Co. Cork received the tonsure, while Niall Bergen of Co. Tipperarary and Paul Duffley of Co. Roscommon received the cassock. It is certainly a cause for rejoicing not only for the families, but also for the whole country to see these fruits of the traditional liturgy at a time when the consequences of the new liturgy are only now being fully realised.
While the National Seminary in Maynooth seems to be on the brink of closure due to a shortage of vocations, St Thomas Aquinas Seminary continues to draw young men from this island to the call of the Priesthood. Let us pray for their perseverance, and for many more young men to respond to this noble call.
View more pictures from the ceremony: https://fsspx.ie/en/news-events/news/light-shining-gentiles-44531

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Jeez!😲
The last thing the world needs are more parasites in clerical collars with Jansenistic tendencies.
Away with the lot of ’em! 😆

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5.47: Magna, O you of horrible nastiness! The crap you pour out is unacceptable. You should take a box of senokat to rid your system of its putrid stench. And then if you really care about your soul, pray, pray, pray. The rejection from seminary still hurts after all thesecyears. Sadly.

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What a load of shiite. This traditionalist stuff attract very strange and questionable people. It is up its own backside with its sense of importance and the ‘Real Faith’. It is precisely this clerical culture that got us in to the mess we are in today. We should have nothing to do with them. It is quite wrong to entice young men in to that kind of culture with all sorts of lies and untruths about the Church and about faith. I despair !

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—and one wonders why these young Irish seminarians have traipsed all the way over to this place in the US ? I bet they have been deemed unsuitable for mainstream training, and so have gone off to this load of nutters and weirdos….

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6.02: Continue to despair because very few people on this blog are “genuinely” interested in real, truthful dialogue about the necessary changes and renewal that’s needed within the Church. Insightful comments have been rubbished on this blog. I am convinced that this blog merely elicits and looks for negativity, hearsay, gossip and condemnation of others, the relentless tearing to pieces of Michael Byrne and Fr. Jones being a prime example. Totally unnecessary and only a repetition of all we’ve heard before. Some comments are an incitement to hatred, others just total lies.There are many disgruntled clerics who use this blog in a very mean spirited way, pouring out their vicious judgments on thise for whom they have hatred and vengeance. Regarding those who choose to be part of traditional Catholicism – that’s their business and good luck to them. God bless them.

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Yes Jimmy Saville and Rolph Harris were such clericalists. The whole farce is that Brendan Smyth was an unbridled liberal in every sense.

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It attracts the low self-esteem seeking to counter it with high vlerical status.

That’s right: those seeking a restoration of high, clericalist culture.

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@ 6.02
What a moron! ” strange and questionable people” !!! I’d say you just described Francis’s Vatican and practically all of today’s bishops: McCarrick, Paglia, Maradiaga, Wuerl, Farrell, Dolan, etc etc etc. Too tiresome to list any more of the dirty so and so’s.
Good on these candidates for separating themselves from the filth of Maynooth and the Irish College. What people treasured in Penal times is good enough for me: would anybody risk death or imprisonment for the shire of shites we have masquerading as priests in Ireland today? Don’t think I need to answer that.
God Bless yous, boys.

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5.17: Thank you Karen for your kind, wisevtolerance. The invective against those who choose a more ttraditional faith is ignorant. The keyboard warriors are a nasty bunch.

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Kind , wise tolerance?
She cut and pasted that drivel from an SSPX website. The ‘Dark Web’. 😨

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7:00

Mommie Dearest, it has.

The last occasion was my very early childhood, when I was barely ex utero (but shockingly precocious: I was even born with a side parting I had so much hair.), and a bishop at an ordination you took me to (See? Even then you were trying to steer me in the direction of Holy Orders.) had a gremial ostentatiously laid across his lap. I thought it just a precaution for an unexpected, explosive sneeze: he was rather prone to a pinch or two of snuff at those High Masses.

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9:43

Guffaw, guffaw, guffaw 😄

Okay. Down the hatch. 👍

Ahhhhhhhh

Oh, shi…😲

Gotta go. Like yesterda…!!!

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For a variety of reasons, the post-Tridentine-conciliar missal approved by Pius V is of minuscule interest in Ireland. If anything, the number of those wanting to know or learn more about it has declined since the Second Council of the Vatican.

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Karen’s posts exhibit a desperation that is derived from a false analysis of religion and a misguided determination to respond to her error.

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Yes those young Irish sems should have stayed with Ledwith, Ronan Drury, Tom Marsh, Paddy Hannon, Joe Duffy, Rory Coyle, McCambley, Puck, Gorgeous, Marshall, Donaghy, the Donagh priests and Jack McCabe. What a crew and all the approved ordinands of modern Maynooth.

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Why are you lumping Tom Marsh and Paddy Hannon in with a minibus full of perverts??? Donaghy didn’t study in Maynooth btw and who are the “Donagh priests”?

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Hey 6:03 it’s the future and you’d better get used to it. You and fellow members of the Association of Anti-Catholic Priests should gaze at your grey-haired congregations and repent deeply that the young don’t go to your modern Mass.

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Joe Duffy wore a gremial at the 1984 confirmations in Lisnaskea and what’s more he used breadcrumbs and lemon juice to remove the oil, as prescribed by the Ceremoniale. So he’s not as bad as people make out

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Pat, it seems everything that could have been possibly done for Fr Graham was done by you and the Oratory Society. I don’t think most other Bishops in Ireland would have bothered their arses.

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I tried everything I could to help him from September 2004 until now. When I accepted him I felt obliged to do all I could for him.

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I wholeheartedly agree with that. There’s no way an Irish PP or bishop would have driven a priest round different appointments. +Denis Nulty had a ridiculously cloying funeral homily recently about the late PP of Abbeyleix and he would not have said anything like it to the PP when he was alive.

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I sat in on sessions Graham had with psychiatrists and counsellors. I do not regard that as virtuous. I regard it as my Christian duty.

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8.39: You are so so wrong about Bishop Nulty. An ignorant comment. Bishop Nulty is probably the most pastorally minded Bishop in the country and is kind to priests. Get your facts right.

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8:39 Thank you for the reference. I was suspicious about your judgment, having been in Maynooth with both men, so I checked out the homily for myself. A wonderfully human homily for the funeral of a very decent and talented man whose life was tragically cut short, from a very decent and pastoral bishop. Well worth reading and re-reading. RIP JC!

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Fr Graham from the story reminds me of a bird looking for a place to perch but there is none so he burns himself out searching. I hope he has found peace at last. Perhaps the charism of his priesthood was that he brought the deacon and priest out in many of the people who’s life he touched (Hi)

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RIP. I only encountered Fr Graham once on a trip to the Oratory. He seemed a very cerebral and intellectual Man. Quite Shy. Perhaps too delicate for this world.

Said a little Prayer for him there.

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At 9:40pm – well said! An ignorant comment from a person who knows nothing about Bishop Nulty and the late Fr John Cummins.

Bishop Denis is a very good and kind man who is heartbroken at the sudden and tragic loss of a wonderful and much-loved priest.

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Three Irish SSPX sems. Nine sems in Maynooth and most of them will cut. That’s the future looking you straight in the face lol.

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I’d forgotten about Maradiaga, Fr Inzoli and Wuerl. What a crew. Homosexual libs every one, the same as the three oppressed gay classics professors in Maynooth Meaney, Finan and Portadown heretic Watson.

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Sheer, shrill, unadulterated homophobia! Moral cowardice to name people while you remain unnamed! Unprincipled decrepitude to attack those who are unable to defend themselves!

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11.43 and 11.49 More pseudo-analysis from a prophet of doom! You sound like one of the US culture warriors who are floundering since the inauguration of the ministry of the current Bishop of Rome.

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Nobody’s floundering. Delighted that all the scum are gathering together and floating to the top – the easier to scoop it off when the time comes. Praise God! Halleluja!

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