I SPENT MOST OF THE PAST WEEK ASSISTING A RELATIVELY YOUNG MAN WITH HIS 20 YEAR BATTLE WITH ALCOHOL ADDICTION.
You could not meet a nicer person. He is also highly intelligent and has a great gift with creativity.
He experienced the tail end of The Troubles and his childhood home was regularly petrol bombed.
And in his past, like many of us, he experienced other traumatic events.
At 17 he started drinking. He discovered that alcohol was, albeit tempory, a painkiller.
Now he is drinking a litre bottle of spirits a day 😥
He got in touchy with me after reading my book A SEXUAL LIFE – A SPIRITUAL LIFE and I invited him to come and have a chat.
The next day I contacted a private GP in Belfast and we both went to see here about her prescribing the drugs he would need for his 7 day detox.
This detox was to take place at The Oratory – with me supervising it under the daily guidance of the prescribing doctor.
The plan then, after detox, was to have him interviewed in a Rehab centre for a 30 day intensive rehab followed by a two years follow up.
All was arranged.
And then my new friend pulled out. He felt he was not ready to detox and rehab and did not like the idea of total abstinence from alcohol for life.
Of course, I remain open to helping him if he decides to go ahead at some future time.
I am a great supporter of the AA – Alcoholics Anonymous. Some individuals seem to be able to do detox and rehab on their own. Some seem to be able to do it with the support of the AA.
But, in my experience, the best and most thorough of becoming permanently sober is to do a professionally supervised detox and rehab.
I’d appreciate readers opinions and experiences.
THE SERENITY PRAYER
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
50 replies on “ALCOHOL – DETOX – REHAB.”
I would not let you supervise my dog you sick sick man.
Poster at 12:05!!
OMG! how could you say that to someone who has always supported you. I do not agree with Patsy on most things,
but she was doing an act of charity trying to help this poor soul afflicted with this terrible disease, which you suffer from yourself. This act of kindness should be commended.
I have a wonderful picture of Bellarmine as a really bitchy pantomime dame and this comment has cemented it further.
For those who claim that M. Carta’s posts are innocuous, insightful even, look no further for additional evidence of insulting language, vitriolic vocabulary and disgusting and degrading imagery employed with reference to another human being.
Anonymous at 10:36am
I’m sure you’ve been looking in the mirror and saw yourself, one of the ugly sisters no doubt! your extremely bitchy comment tells as what you are, a Bitch!
Look before you leap, fool.
If this comment is from Magna Carta it seems strangely contradictory to his comment of a few days ago that +Pat is the only RC priest he respects. However I note that the comment’s accompanying symbol differs from the dark blue one normally accompanying Magna’s comments. In view of that I suspect it’s another misguided attempt to be mischievous, or, dare I say, malicious, both in criticising +Pat, and provocative hostility in respect of Magna.
That comment is not
from Magna Carta, and Dame Bellarmine knows it.
But Dame Bella enjoys being mischievous, needing to rant, particularly at MC,
at any opportunity.
Right, Dame Bella?
Oh Oh Oh, what a doll! 😂
MMM, that comment was not from me. (Green avatar; mine is blue.)
I accept what you say MC.
Or, alternatively, MC was using a different email address which he apparently regularly does and inadvertently or deliberately employed his pseudonym. Pat will be able to verify by comparing IP addresses. But it suits your narrative to accord the composer of such disgusting posts (compare today’s first one with yesterday’s first one.) the benefit of the doubt, since, like Herod and Pilate, a strategic friendship exists between you.
Try as you may little charlaran but you won’t succeed in fooling the masses….though generally on here that is somewhat debatable! 😂 Intellectual prowess demands a quick wit and uber sensitive disposition toward common sense and reality; something which Bella clearly lacks 🙃
You seem upset my dear. Come venture unto me and I shall give you council and erm…some succor 😉
Significantly, not a denial.
Both “Magna Carta” and “Evviva Bella” are pantomime dames. Two boring buffoons who talk the greatest load of sh***. Two harridans who hate each other and are always fighting and bitching at each other. The King Buck Show wouldn’t be same without them though. It would be like Cinderella without the Ugly Sisters. 😁
Pat, you can check the IP address of the comment at the top to see whether it’s the same.
No, Magna does not use a different e-mail address, much less regularly.
Another lying ‘good’ priest?
Maybe you’re the dilettante I ‘ve been drubbing on Scripture a few blogs back.
To poster at 2:59
That word ‘dilettante’ was predicated of you on this blog some months ago in conjunction with the epithet ‘sterile.’ It’s good to see your English vocabulary being taken up a notch by this blog, along with a rudimentary grasp of biblical and theological jargon.
there was an interesting discussion on LiveLine with Joe Duffy about addition – people calling in mostly about gambling addiction. I was never a drinker myself until two years ago when I went through a traumatic event. to try and escape the reality and forget the experience I would drink a bottle of wine, mostly at the weekends. Then I started going into the local shop during the week and found myself drinking every night of the week. cheap wine mostly. I didn’t even want it but it was the escapism from reality that I needed.
Anonymous aka MC at 11:31am
Don’t be ridiculous Patsy knows exactly who posts here as she runs the blog and moderates the comments, it is you who can’t wait to insult me with your childish ad-hominum insults. Whatever made you post that dreadful comment about Patsy probably the GARGLE, it was indeed you. Something must have upset you and you showed yourself in your true colours for once, you really are nasty especially to someone who always supported you. So insult me all you like, I don’t care I will always retaliate, despite all that I still say The Memorare for you every day.
Bellarmine, I’m getting a wee bit concerned for you. Are you alright, Bella?
I did not post that dreadful comment or any other dreadful comment.
By the way, I’m not MC. Sorry to disappoint you, hon. 😉
Pat, having worked as a student with Sr. Consilio’s Cuan Mhuire Centres, I have the utmost regard for her approach to helping people with addictions. Over the years I have brought many people to her centres and have witnessed huge transformations in the lives of many. I am not a professional counsellor but have participated in many seminars and lectures on alcohol and drug addiction. Addiction of any kind is multifaceted and it is better to allow the professional therapist/counsellor advise on a redemptive programme. I have also encouraged people to attend AA for support and guidance in their efforts to regain well being and strength. We can accompany people in their brokenness in a caring, spiritual and pastoral way but in many instances, if not most, we have to seek professional counselling and therapy. I hope your friend finds a way forward.
Top o th Morning Pat. I found out eventually I am not a fixer but a companion on a journey. The diagram starts with guilt and shame. This applies to many issues. He said he is not ready. I would imagine be there for him but not in his face for now. The wee prayer is the most important thing hi
Well done Pat, you’re putting your money where your mouth is. Such selfless actions will help you heal the trauma of your past.
I have to say that I find myself regularly, indeed daily, conflicted about the issues of homelessness, addiction and the whole culture and lifestyle around them. It’s not that I don’t have pity and compassion, it’s more to do with the fact that I don’t really understand it and what is behind it, and don’t really know how to respond to it.
I guess that I was brought up with a sense of self-reliance and a robustness about things that means when confronted with difficulties I face them head on and get on with things. I guess I’m lucky that I’ve not had something hit me which is not within my ability to overcome. I think for many of the people who suffer from addiction there is often a cause that is something that they simply are not able to manage and overcome, and they are submerged. Even though intellectually I understand that, I have to admit that emotionally there is still a bit of me that wants to pick them up and shake them and tell them to straighten themselves out ! That is my failing. I try to empathise but I do find it very hard. I blame that muscular Christianity Jesuit training !
Next, I simply do not know what to do when confronted with someone who is on the skids, or suffering from addiction that leads to them sliding down right to the bottom. Where I live there are innumerable people living on the streets, not just homeless, but evidently addicted to alcohol and drugs. All of these things will be interconnected. I have long since stopped giving out money to them as I pass them. One, because a walk through town becomes very expensive – I could pass 20 people asking for money in the course of 20 minutes – and secondly because I am not sure that the money I give them is not spent on the very things that are dragging them down, namely drugs and alcohol. I feel very conflicted and guilty as I pass by. And it is made worse by the usual “Have a good day, thank you, and God bless you” that they say as you pass by without giving them anything ! Occasionally I will buy a sandwich or a drink for someone, occasionally I will buy a train or bus ticket, but I never give cash in to their hands. Again, the way I respond is I think to do with my failure. But I am at a loss what to do.
So, I have the greatest admiration for someone like + Pat who will take on these things directly and personally, even if imperfectly. It shows to me that he puts his faith in to action. I also have great admiration for those places that minister to addicts and care for the homeless – people like Sister Consilio’s places. I try to support them financially as best I can with my giving.
I am angry that the society in which I live makes it so easy for people to slip right down to the bottom. Where I live there has been a huge noticeable increase in homelessness and addiction in the last 10 years, and no doubt it is connected to austerity and the economy and the cutting of services that used to help as safety nets. It seems to me that the local authorities only intervene when these poor people start to pester people and make a nuisance of themselves, and then they try to move them on and out of the way, but do nothing to help tackle the root issues which bring people to this pass. I’m not sure there is much sympathy in society generally for people who are challenged in this way. I think people look on them as ‘losers’. So, with a government that has kicked away the support for them, and a population that are focussed on their own livelihood, the homeless and the addicted are low down the pecking order. Sadly.
A good, honest, and compassionate post.
Certainly where alchohol addiction is concerned, there is a hereditary (genetic) component.
Biochemically in some addicts at any rate, the grip alcohol has on the person will one day be explained by a chemical equation; I have no doubt of this.
I have come across people, desperate and in floods of tears, knowing that they are going to end up homeless, without family, their life savings squandered, living on the streets, and eventually dying. But they feel utterly (hopelessly) powerless to halt this juggernaut. They want to. (And how!) But truly, they can’t.
If they don’t reach out for God in those moments…
A good, honest, insightful and compassionate post.
The world ain’t half fixed.!
I’ve worked with a variety of people, from a variety of troubled backgrounds.
There’s usually several factors leading to a downward spiral, where people end up, to use your term, on the skids.
Nowadays, sometimes I give a person a few bob, depending on the individual. It’s a bit of a judgement call.
My view is, what people do with the bit of money I give is up to them, in other words, their responsibility.
I have on occasion bought a meal for a person. Most of the time I make an intercessory prayer for the person,
as, like yourself, I couldn’t afford to give financially to everyone who looks for money.
Christianity is, in my view, a praxis. I don’t think the Lord will be too concerned about theological viewpoints
when we’re called by the Lord. As John of the Cross said, in the evening of our lives we will be judged by Love!
Love covers a multitude of sins. I count my blessings. Keep up the good work, Bishop Pat.
1041 D ya know sometimes there is a kind of respectability about being on the margins Look at me I deserve help. Yes you do but the Challenge is to come into the light and away from the world of purple rain (Prince Song) This is What redemption and salvation is all about hi
Cuan Mhuire is amazing for this. I’ve just left after 3 month’s and I can whole heartedly say that the program work’s if you want it to.
Please pray for Magna. Obviously a very sick soul in mind and spirit.
Magna, take courage. There is no such thing as a hopeless case. The spirit of gods healing can work for you too. Bless
We ‘re organising a novena to St. Jude for you, Toby.
You’re right! No one is a hopeless case, including you, Toby.
Frequently, those sick in mind and spirit, lack insight into their own psychological and spiritual malaise.
But be of good cheer, Toby. God’s spirit can heal the broken hearted. The truth will set you free, Toby. Eventually.
In the meantime, always look on the bright side of life! 😊
Another anon post by.Carta @ 8.28
+ Pat, if therapy is to be effective, a person needs to be seriously ready to change.
AA members frequently say they had to reach rock bottom before realizing their addiction was destroying their lives.
I think hi fly is right in saying to be a companion or support, plus spirituality is essential in recovery for those with addictions. Those with alcohol addiction are unconsciously thirsting for the Divine.
What do you mean by ‘seriously ready to change’? What counts as serious with you? Is it alawys saying ‘no’ to the addictive urge? This isn’t always possible, but it doesn’t mean the person isn’t serious.
It took me a number of attempts before I was able to quit smoking. But those in-between lapses did not mean I wasn’t serious.
I mean a person needs to, realise, recognize and fully appreciate, the consequences of continuing to consume alcohol will have on his or her relationships, employment, physical, psychological, emotional, social health and well being, and even their very existence. Its a process, and no doubt, many attempts may need to be made.Having a support network and/or recovery plan is also very important. Therapeutic work with people is really only possible when people sincerely desire and are highly motivated to change. They do most of the work in therapy, not the therapist.
I imagine it may be a similar situation with Coyle and McCamley, who feel they were not ready to defag and rehab as did not like the idea of total abstinence from gay sex for life.
The Coyles and McCamleys of this world will still be in the clerical club and being taken care of. They will have said just enough of the right things to make their bosses think that they are living good priestly lives, and they will have been sent off to places where they can lie low and quiet. But, rest assured, as 1156 just said above, they will not have undertaken in reality the idea of total abstinence from their gay sex lives, or embraced their priestly promise of celibacy (which, by the way, is increasingly seen as unreasonable, dysfunctional and damaging). In fact, their bosses will probably know at some level that these guys will in all likelihood be playing around, but as long as they can convince themselves that they have plausible deniability they will carry on embracing these ‘wounded’ characters and supporting them. They are, after all, part of the clerical club. Sorry to sound cynical about what is happening, but I see it from inside and I know what happens, and I tell you this is what will be happening in these cases.
Thanks for your honesty.
Will Coyle and McCambley ever be able to return or are they to be a mortgage on the church for decades to come?
Just money down the drain.
Good to see a positive deed from you for a change, if true.
Not so sure if the devil would believe you!
Repent man repent cause no one knows when the hour will come.
Once more the ‘good’ Catholic crowd show themselves not to believe the Catholic faith. For people who are so fast to tell you to look at yourself when you point out their cult is a cesspit of criminality and abuse, they are sooo fast to point the finger at you!
So let’s unpack this insinuating comment:
The commenter says it’s a change for you to do a good deed (why they aren’t looking at themselves I don’t know)
The truth of your statement is called into doubt (if true) for no reason.
Then the devil is somehow dragged into this, presumably associating you with the devil.
The only thing that is missing from the usual diatribe is to say you set yourself up as some exemplar of holiness (you don’t).
All in all a spiteful little piece of dirt this comment and the reason I know the commenter doesn’t believe the Catholic faith is that you are associated with the devil. The Catholic faith clearly says any judging is done by God.
What are you both going on about @ 7:07 & 7:38?
Well i know a lot of very judgemental priests,so according to you they worship the devil
7:49 is using another classic derailment method of pretending not to understand.
Have you thought of getting reading lessons?
Dublin Diocesan Appointments Summer
2019 on website
Are you, by any chance, the amateur armchair sleuth from yesterday; Sherlock Hemlock? You sound like him.
Will you tell me, precisely, what you think I’m trying to derail? ( Just wonderin, like) 😯