SHOULD PHONSIE TAKE UP SELF POLLUTION.

AFTER YESTERDAY’S BLOG ABOUT PHONSIE, THE NUN AND THE AMERICAN CHASTITY APOSTLE COMING SOON TO WATERFORD, A VERY ANGRY WATERFORD PRIEST RANG ME AND SAID “PHONSIE IS A WAN..ER”.

I replied: “Father, I think the problem is that Phonsie is NOT a wan..er”.

A number of years ago – a rare specimen these days – a straight priest – came to talk to me about the affair he was having with his rural parish post mistress.

During our chat the priest said something so wise and so true. He aaid: “Pat, they wouldn’t let us get rid our semen and it went our head and made us mad”.

And there is a madness that can come from sexual repression, sexual frustration and the tension that builds up from sexual deprivation.

And it’s clear to me that poor old Phonsie has that madness.

The symptoms he is showing are classic – a problem with the female body, a problem with girls being immunized against sexually transmitted diseases and a problem with bodies engaged in yoga.

Phonsie has SDV – SEXUAL DEPRIVATION VIRUS.

And if he’s not careful it will develop into full blown AISDS – Auto Immune Sexual Deprivation Syndrome.

There is no known cure for either SDV or AISDS but both conditions can be managed long term and without life threatening consequences.

And the experts recommend techniques that come from the chicken industry.

So, Phonsie should choke the chicken a few times a week.

——————

DARCY FINALLY GETS A MINI CELEB FUNERAL GIG.

POOR BRIAN DARCY HAS BEEN VERY DEPRESSED SINCE GAY BYRNE’S FUNERAL WHEN THE DUBLIN CLERGY RELEGATED HIM TO THE PEWS AND REFUSED TO LET HIM HIJACK GAYBO’S FUNERAL.

And then came Blow Two.

Marian Finucane died next and poor Brian was not allowed near that funeral either.

You see the Byrnes and the Finucanes have taste and gravitas and they did not want a country and western funeral for their beloved or a funeral where the celebrant made it all about him and not the deceased.

So, the Byrnes went for a highly educated Jesuit and the Finucanes went for a bishop, a monsignor and a real parish priest.

But there was a consolation prize this week for our B. He got to do the funeral of Larry Gogan, the retired DJ.

That will give his deflated little ego a wee lift and make his Merc big end a little less noisy.

VIDEO OF FUNERAL.

WATCH DARCY AT THE BEGINNING WELCOMING ALL THE MINI CELEBS BY NAME

104 thoughts on “SHOULD PHONSIE TAKE UP SELF POLLUTION.

  1. I like the pun on THAT word.
    Got it…eventually.

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    1. hi Sean 🙂

      Like

    2. Remember when this was a big hit. a song all about salty chocolate balls made by a chef
      Suck on my chocolate salty balls
      Stick ’em in your mouth and suck ’em
      Suck on my chocolate salty balls
      They’re packed full of vitamins and good for you
      So suck on my balls!!

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      1. Cathy do you like salty balls?

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      2. as mammy said to me when I told her I was gay, ”up the bum and no babies’. I like to think contemporary mothers are somewhat more sensitive

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  2. Michael Mullaney needs our prayers and support, mid life crisis.

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    1. you’re the one that needs help and prayers.

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  3. Would that be a morality matter?

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    1. that would be an ecumenical matter

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      1. Why would that be an ecumenical matter Oh Canon?

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  4. I think this is your funniest blog ever, Pat and sooo true.
    I was surprised to see the Fonzie used to work as a primary school teacher – I really can’t see him doing that.
    I’m off for a good w*nk.

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  5. Fly On Th Wall 11th Jan 2020 — 7:25 am

    SDV That’s part oth problem. But there’s more The (w)hole ethos has put tharse where th face should be. O I give wee Brian a break hi Sure his heart is in the right place hi

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  6. “There is no known cure for either SDV or AISDS… ”
    Gay porn helped Fr McVeigh, for example, so it could also help others with the condition, Bp Pat, including Phonsie.

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  7. Phonsie and his ilk are just full of self-loathing and hate, with unresolved issues with their own sexuality, and essentially very unhappy and dysfunctional people It is classic transference to turn this outwards on to others. So many of his utterances are indicative of this. Poor man ! He needs pitying. Except for the damage he has done throughout his ministry and continues to do to people. Mind you, people nowadays are far less inclined to take him and his thoughts seriously. They see through them. Indeed, they laugh at him and them. And make up their own minds. Thank God !

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  8. Fr Marsden and Fr Prior are probably in the same space as Phonsie. Obsessive compulsive and dysfunctional about sexuality and associated matters, getting their jollies from such things, but equally inflicting damage on others in the process. It is good to see that the rector of Oscott, who saw through Marsden and his inappropriate and sick probing of his seminarians about their masturbation fantasies, and moved him out of Oscott, has been made a bishop. It at least shows a vote of confidenceby the Church in his decision to move the man on. Has Marsden got a new job yet ? Let’s hope nobody will be stupid enough to let him near the young and the impressionable in whatever he is doing, because of the insidious damage he and his sick mindset can do. As for Prior, once the SJs move him on, he should not be let back in to formation programmes, but moved back to some quiet backwater where he comes from. Or if he does’t like that he could surely get a job as a subject matter expert in the underwear department of M & S advising on suitability of particular styles of underwear for young gentlemen. Suits you, Sir !

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    1. “Two examples of full blown AISDS but they can still get treatment. They say, the nearby “meadow” at Lourdes can also work miracles.

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      1. World Youth Day is also a cure.

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    2. Mentioning Phonsie, Fr Marsden and Paul P in the same breath is questionable and somewhat unfair. Paul is actually a pleasant and congenial man.

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      1. Oh, how interesting. I suspect this has come from someone in the SJ noviciate in Birmingham where Prior has been based these last couple of years. Is he still there, or have the SJs moved him on to somewhere a bit more remote and inaccessible ? Join the SJs and see the world, so I imagine he could be anywhere !

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      2. 12:20
        Wrong on several accounts!

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    3. Fr Marsden recorded the hypocrisy over celibacy in Oscott, the rector denied all knowledge and all went quiet, a year later the Rector becomes a Bishop. The new Bishop wants to be a listening Bishop and support social justice in relation to the environment. I would have thought he would want to increase vocations to the priesthood in his new diocese based on his years of leadership. He’s clearly totally acceptable to the Bishops conference a safe pair of hands to manage decline , after a year he will have a proposal to close as many churches as possible, which is the policy of the Bishops conference they need ever penny for the short term growth of abuse claims they are not going to bring leading a religious revival not on any scale in any part of the UK. It’s basically the C of E in the late 1970s in doctrine, liturgy and outlook except the rate of decline is far faster

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  9. The Pat Buckkey porn site is back in all its glory. Disgusting.

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    1. Sorry Phonsie.

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      1. Ponsie for pope

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    2. 10.00: Indeed, I agree with you. These perverts ked by Pat are supposedly the chikdren of G8d. But how they too lead Gid’s people astray along with some of their counterparts in the Catholic Church. Pattie wants us to accept his credentials as a moral crusader! Just Look at his life to know we’d be on another road to perdition and separation from God for eternity.

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      1. Pat raises questions. That alone is doing us all a great favour.

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      2. Go Phonsie!

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  10. Phonsies gig cancelled according to today’s papers.

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    1. Cancelled in the Tower but allegedly moved to a church instead and ticket holders will be informed of the new location by email to prevent protesters and no-platformers appearing.

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  11. See the journal

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  12. Fairly scathing article Phonsie not covering himself with glory yet again. Who appoints these people?

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    1. Very likely Opus Dei had a role in Phonsie’s appointment. The results speak for themselves. Brown bears much responsibility too. Have a care for the poor W&L clergy stuck with him for next 15 years.

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      1. God help them!

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      2. That makes sense.

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      3. Cover ups in W&L ?
        All dioceses need investigation. Are the police investigating Raphoe diocese again?

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  13. On the subject of Marsden, Oakley and Oscott I see Church Militant have wrote a scathing article about Oakley becoming a bishop. He will join a list of pro-gay English Bishops who have been engaged in promoting homosexuality and turning a blind eye to gay clergy amongst its ranks. Elsie has been named as one, Salford, Nottingham and Clifton are also noted for their pro-gay stance. The biggest criticism for promoting gay issues and sharing platforms at LGBTQ events is bishop Peter Doyle of Northampton who spoke at an event alongside Fr James Martin SJ a well known gay himself. It seems Doyles successor, David Oakley, will carry on the campaign of supporting Fags especially clergy. Now we know why these weak and liberal English bishops will not have a word said against the queens in their dioceses.

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    1. I take it your on that list as well Pat.

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    2. Liverpool rings home….. Lydiate…..

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    3. If you had even a modicum of awareness about acceptable and unacceptable language you would not use the term ‘fag’ for LGBTQ people at all. In fact, you probably have already committed an offence against diversity and equality law in whichever country you are residing. I’d be a bit more careful in your use of pejorative and discriminatory and inflammatory language if I were you.

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      1. Many LGBTQ people quite often these days refer to themselves as “fag” as it’s now a fashionable term. Just as much as gay people now refer to close female friends as “fag hags”. You need to come down of that big high morality holier than though horse.

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    4. Many seminarians from those dioceses mentioned (who are now Priests) were well known for gay sex in Seminaries used by those dioceses. England, Spain and Rome. The dioceses listed are all well known for being liberal. Portsmouth at one point was the most liberal of all until Rome appointed Phylis Egan to rock their boat and shake them up.

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      1. And who sits on Egan’s safe-guarding committee? Go on … guess! Still gloriously reigning.

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      2. Anecdotal evidence is selective evidence – in this case selected according to your inclinations.

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      3. Is it possible the Safeguarding Commission at Liverpool have been told a pack of lies and those lies are now out? This is a question; not an accusation…
        The above question must be considered within the context of the following caveats: possibly only those who are within earshot – rather than via news or blogs, may only be fully aware – owing to any gagging orders that may possibly be in place, therefore preventing any transparent on matters. Matters possibly grave).
        The above is all hypothetical, of course, owing to the obvious.

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    5. Chauvinism and homophobia!

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    6. 11.09
      How do you know that Fr James Martin SJ is gay? Would it be because that rug-wearin’ ex-queer 😅, Michaela Voris, disparagingly calls him a ‘homosexualist’?
      I’d love to know your answer, cos I’d love afirmation that you are capable of independent thought and are not someone who uncritically listens to a man who, apparently, took part in gay-porn movies.

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  14. I hope the news that Phonsie’s gig has been cancelled is indeed true, +Pat. I still cannot believe that they were going to allow this to happen – they are demented and, it is perfectly clear why and what they are demented over: S E X !
    Their [Phonsie’s and the chastity apostle’s] odd behaviour is the SYMPTOM and NOT the CAUSE!
    They [some R clergy] are quite possibly sexually immature; unable to relate to people on a basic humanistic level. Possibly, and sadly, damaged by the R institution. No?
    I do not believe in Free Love, but at the same time I do not believe that human sexuality should be represented to our younger generation as something which is dirty, sinful and unnatural.
    The RCC has done enough damage in this area and should do its best to DECIST in offering moral and ethical advice on these matters.

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  15. Magna Carta's Mum 11th Jan 2020 — 11:42 am

    Magna darling, mummy remembers how you never stopped when you were in your teens. I became very careful to make a noise before entering a room (only to find you red-faced and furtive on the other side of the door), and to pick up tissues with tongs. I became so worried about you I actually spoke to our parish priest who suggested I send you to him for a chat about it. Luckily you flatly refused to go near him… Luckily, given what came out about him later.

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    1. 11.42

      Yes, Mommie Dearest! I absolutely did flatly refuse to go anywhere near that man.

      I knew if I did, he would just come too near me.

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  16. I think in Phonsie case perhaps he should resort to flogging the bishop !!

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  17. new kodaline song is out and I’m loving it.
    …..I will go to wherever you are…wherever you are, that’s where I’ll be…

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    1. I would far more that young people were influenced by these boys than creepy old clergymen prying into their bodies. Ugh! And as for that evil old queen in a wig at Church Militant … ugh!

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  18. Bedeque Brendan 11th Jan 2020 — 1:39 pm

    I went to St Malachys college in the 1960’s. One of our priest teachers used to tell us that the then recently deceased bishop, Dr Mageean, used to take a cold shower every morning at 6am. We were told it was an act of penance and self denial……………I wonder ……??

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    1. question is, did the other person enjoy the cold shower? 😂

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  19. Come on year black and tans!

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  20. Well Pat such a commotion and a Gaudeamus igitur in the Roost Pub in the village of Gaynooth the other day.
    There one was, having a quiet pint and perusing one’s favourite and most riveting passages from the Jerome Biblical Commentary, when all hell suddenly broke loose all around one.
    There entered the Roost pub such a melee of excited and jubilant persons! One wondered for a moment if the 8th Amendment had been repealed all over again.
    But then, lo and behold, there entered, carried aloft by the happy mob, shoulder high, none other than the internationally renowned and celebrated tee-ological scholar and revered president of St Patrick’s College, Gaynooth, the Rev Prof Fanny Mullaney.
    There were wans roarin and yahoos to beat Banagher. There was this big wan with candy floss pink hair and several facial piercings, gulderin like a calving heifer, UP OUR FANNY! UP OUR FANNY! I later found out that the fair maiden is Lilith Ni Raghallaigh – the President of the Pontifical Abortion Society.
    Also prominent in the jubilations was one Jarlath McGillycuddy of the Archconfraternity of St Pelagius for Woke Seminarians who was screeching KEEP YOUR ROSARIES OFF OUR FANNY!
    Bishop Mossie O’Hourigan of the diocese of Kildorrery was also spotted mingling with the revellers. Mind you, when I thinks of it, there was no sign of Pat Mullaney or Mullaney Pat. Nowhere to be seen at all at all.
    Eventually, through the yee haas and yippees, one was able to deduce that Fanny had shot the knickers of yer wan who tackled her in the Irish Times – shot the knickers clean off of her, Pat. Hell hath no fury like a Fanny who wants to be a bishop scorned.
    Apparently some nobody of a wan had dared to try and correct Fanny’s teeology in D’Irish Times and Fanny was boollin BOOLLIN! She sat down at her desk and sent forth such a missive! Oh Pat, she has having a conniption was Fanny, over being instrumentalised and deliberately misrepresented as some sort of a heretic.
    Sure wasn’t she was only telling the plain truth o’ God, revealed in the infallible Jerome Biblical Commentary, that Jesus was a racist and sure he couldn’t help himself. It was the way he was brought up, by his mudder and fadder, to look down on people of different cultures and nationalities.
    Thankfully we all know much better, in our day, than poor prejudiced Jesus did in his day, said Fanny Mullaney Pat.
    Anyhow, they sets the bould Fanny on a throne-like chair in the middle of the Roost and Mick The Extractor Collins was standing behind her, massaging her beefy shoulders, the way they do with the boxers in the ring.
    Things settled for a little while as Pernod and Blackcurrants were served to Fanny on the house. Hush was called for at one point because Hugh “The Dog Ate Me Homework Sor” Cowboy Connolly came onto Facebook Live to congratulate Fanny in an emotional message.
    Then, declare to God, didn’t Fanny herself – and the few drinks in her – hold up a hand for silence and began to speak and every eye in the Roost was fixed on her.
    I will tell you this now, what Fanny didn’t say, about the poor unfortunate and unlearned woman, who dared to cross swords with her, wasn’t worth saying. Dogs wouldn’t have licked the woman’s blood by the time Fanny sat down (well sort of fell down really). All marvelled at the vicious words that dripped from Fanny’s lips.
    Merciful hour, Pat, one is not the better of it yet. At the same time, one is grateful for teeological luminaries such as Fanny who continue, day by day, even at this stage of ones life, to enlighten us as to the truth. Jesus was a prejudiced auld racist. I never knew that. Thanks be to god to learn it now before it’s too late. Every day is a school day. St Nestorius, pray for us. St Arius, pray for us.

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    1. 😂😂😂 Brilliant! UP OUR FANNY! 🤣🤣🤣

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    2. Canon Matt Hep 11th Jan 2020 — 3:58 pm

      what in the name of God are you on about?

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      1. Canon you must have missed it all.
        The president of Maynooth, Michael (aka “Fanny”) Mullaney preached a sermon before Christmas at a Carol Service describing Jesus as having “deeply ingrained prejudices, even racism”.
        Dr Maria Steen, who writes a column in the Irish Times, responded to him in her column and took him to task. He then wrote a furious letter to the Irish Times attacking her.
        Wigs on the green. Hilarious.
        Fanny’s worried now about being tried for heresy and an auto da fe 😂

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      2. This is more than an ecumenical matter

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    3. 3.38 Brevity is the soul of wit, not this prolix poppycock.

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      1. Aw don’t be such an aul misery guts 8:59pm 😄

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      2. @8:59pm UP OUR FANNY!!!

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  21. Oh Meghan. These cold showers are too much. Just wish you were here. You are so damn hot. Hmmm.

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    1. Up the number of showers lad

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  22. 3:38, are ya well? are ya? do ya be well in head?

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    1. @4:46pm – weller than you’ll ever be luv 😉

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      1. god bless the mark @ 5:46

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    2. As well as yourself hon🥴

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  23. Pat. You know I support and praise all you do and agree on everything you say. The obsession with D’arcy is getting tired and calling Larry Gogans funeral a consolation prize is a bit too much, even for you ya hoor ya. So start back bringing us the news and not the dribble

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    1. 5 32: Pat, I’m afraid is envious of clerics like Brian Darcy and others who are admired, respected and appreciated. Pat has a deep, psychological obsession with his once firmer colleagues in the Catholic Church, an obsession hewn out if hatred, vindictiveness and vengeance. Our ”messiah” Lat neefs to learn that he is not God!

      Like

    2. Joseph Lollard 11th Jan 2020 — 8:12 pm

      Hugh Phillips 11th Jan 2020, 5:32 pm, said” .. The obsession with D’arcy is getting tired … “
      ______
      But that video of that funeral is worth a quick look-through, if only to understand why people remark disparagingly at Fr D’A so frequently conducting such events.

      I’ve never been to a Funeral-Mass in Ireland, but is it usual for the celebrant to welcome by name the more prominent people present; or for the congregation to give the celebrant a round of applause at the end of the Mass?

      But apart from D’A it was a remarkably well conducted service.

      The singer, the deceased’s niece Rachel Goode,, was magnificent; and anyhow the opening hymn – Nearer My God to Thee – is one of my favourites.

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      1. Canonisation ceremony not a requiem Mass, the Protestant hymns, the mismatched polyester vestments, the thickly carpeted sanctuary full of clutter, the altar turned into a crib is all okay if you have never seen the austere Roman Mass. I went to a funeral of a young person who died suddenly, the priest behaved like a total agnostic and then started talking about how he’s looking down on us now on his skate board it was like a seance

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  24. Prevention is better than cure, Bp Pat.
    Being around mature men in speedos is my top tip for coping with the condition.

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    1. Not my type but definitely handsome.

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    2. I like his hairy chest but the face doesn’t do anything for me

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    3. That’s not the pic of a younger Elsie enjoying a seaside holiday with Auntie Ada which somebody mentioned the other day? You’ve let yourself go a bit, Elsie!

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    1. Austin is really hot and a very good porn performer. sadly I’m considered an otter by the gay community as I have a hairy chest, and he’s only into smooth Twink types. very good videos tho

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      1. I’ve subscribed to his just-for-fans site. its about 10 pounds a month. although its better watching the videos with poppers lol. just ordered some online. hopefully here Monday/tuesday

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      2. Austin is not on just4fans he’s on onlyfans. though I would say AVOID using onlyfans as it can be dangerous for spy ware etc. Personally my fav is Skippy Baxter (Look him up) 😜😛

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      3. being a brit, my fav porn actor is a welsh guy called Dickie James. you can check him out on twitter. shave head, hairy chest and tattoos.

        oooooozes masculinity

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  25. Any reasons given by Phonsie for cancellation of Jason Evert gig? Who going to give chastity talks instead?

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    1. Fly On Th Wall 11th Jan 2020 — 8:17 pm

      7.23 Sister Chastity Beltt a course she will listen here…, the rest is confidential hi

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      1. You have me bewildered hi Fly . Are you suppin vino along with Cathy Cabbage?

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  26. Over the wrist 11th Jan 2020 — 7:27 pm

    6\06. Be careful with the pics. You might cause a few bishops to wallop their wang !

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  27. im in two minds about whether to get a bottle of wine tonight

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    1. You might need two bottles of wine after watching Fr Ray Kelly prancing around on RTE earlier. Two judges gave him 2 points each and he got a total of 8 in the end. So excruciating to watch.

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      1. Tom Deenihan needs to send another priest next time. Derek Darby would have got at least twice as many points!

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    2. I went for a nice bottle of Cono Sur 2019

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  28. Did anyone hear the statement from Elsie that was supposedly read out at Masses in Westminster tonight in relation to a Sunday tabloid story and Allen Hall? I was told it was being read out but never got to hear it.

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    1. The item is still flagged on the website of the Diocese of Waterford & Lismore.

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    2. It is a strange goings-on at Allen Hall? I wonder.

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    3. Nothing was read out at the Mass I went to this evening.

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    4. What?!! Please don’t leave us hanging like this – you silly cow! Spit it out! What’s the news about Ales Hall???
      My labia are chattering and I’m biting my nails!!! Pat?!!

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  29. Bp Pat, you will be doing a ‘BREAKING NEWS’ on Allen Hall?

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  30. Liverpool Catholic 11th Jan 2020 — 9:36 pm

    Although I had read pats comments before on Fr D’Arcy I did not know the man or anything about him except for comments here. So it was with an open mind that I watched the funeral of the late Mr Gogan. I afraid I have to agree that I detect a great deal of ego in the man and he seems to have a need to place himself as the centre of attraction and attention. Only my opinion.

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    1. Have you any news over the scandal in your neck of the woods, Liverpool Catholic?
      Erstwhile seems to be a bit ‘busy’ at the moment. Alas! Private engagements!!
      Please do elaborate – while of course staying within the bounds of the gaging order which is in place on the ex seminarian, that is.

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  31. Fr Brian D’Arcy spoke effectively to the mourners. He did not start with theology, knowing well that not many in the church were regular believers. He focused on the one person they all loved, namely the deceased, and then gently raised their minds to the divine dimension. He recited the Confiteor all alone, no one joining in, but all invited to listen to it and pray with it in their own way. “Just read for us the word of God as chosen by Larry’s family” again linked the religious element to the human reason for the gathering. For many Irish people, funerals are their last link with the Faith.

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  32. Anonymous, 11th Jan 2020, 8:36 pm, said, ” … the Protestant hymns …
    _____
    What makes a hymn Protestant rather than Catholic?
    And I’ve noticed that such old Catholic Hymns as “Jesus is God, the solid earth”, “Hail Redeemer King Divine” and “Holy God we praise thy name” seem to have also gone out of the RCC repertoire.
    It’s become so a Hymn isn’t “Catholic” unless it’s about the so-styled ‘BVM’ goddess..

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    1. Amazing Grace, a hymn I usually dislike, was beautifully sung.

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  33. If he starts wa king at this stage of life he may need a coach to show him how his bits work.

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    1. HG, a tall order at this point in life. Probably not operable now due to age. Likely to have seized up.😳

      Like

  34. Any Waterford cover ups needing outing?

    Like

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