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HEADS TO ROLL AT WESTMINSTER CATHEDRAL.

Slawomir

Our Westminster Correspondent Writes…


Huge changes are already afoot at Westminster Cathedral with the surprise appointment of Polish-born Neo Catechumenate poster boy Fr Slawomir Witon, to succeed the late Canon Christopher Tuckwell who died earlier in the year.

Swavek was a great favourite of Cardinal Spud Murphy O Connor, when he was Archbishop and with his successor Elsie Nichols, and was up close and personal to both of them acting as Archbishop’s MC, guiding their every step.


His appointment has sent shock waves through the prissy queen brigade who have so dominated the Cathedral scene for the past years, and in particular the former Anglican clergyman who runs the sacristy and his lay side kick Hawker.

Apparently, they have already told friends that their days are numbered, and are bemoaning the fact that one of their number wasn’t appointed. This seems to be good old-fashioned class snobbery (“does he know how to use his knife and fork?” was one comment overheard from the waspish priest, rather than the fact the 6’4″ tall administrator to-be is that most rare of things among the clergy of England and Wales, heterosexual!


He has his work cut out for him, what with the bitching of those fools to deal with (by the way, the sacristan Hawker and the priest are great friends of recently ordained Fr Alex Balzanella and are doing their level best to get him appointed to the cathedral when he finishes his studies in Rome – what a power base that will be!).

Along with falling numbers, no money and the continuing war between the choir school and the music department.

Fr Witon has a reputation for being a bit of a bruiser and so maybe that was at the forefront of Elsie’s mind when passing him the (poisoned?) chalice? Time will tell. But one thing is for sure already, heads will roll.
Ends.

PAT SAYS

Westminster seems to be an awful mess these days between ex Anglicans, Newocats etc.

And Elsie has allowed everything to drift.

There is a lot of tension and unhappiness among the priests.

Many of the priests are of The Antique Disposition.

There seems to be different factions warring in the cathedral.

A wholly dysfunctional and unhappy situation.

VLAD THE IMPALER TO WESTMINSTER CATHEDRAL

Vladimir (or “Vlad”) is the Canary Wharf Multifaith Chaplaincy’s dedicated Catholic Chaplain for professional workers on the Estate.

In addition to his work with the Multifaith Chaplaincy, Vlad is Catholic Chaplain for sport, CEO of The John Paul II Foundation for Sport (which he launched in 2011) and is a trustee of The Passage, CaAPA and Genesis. A social entrepreneur, Vlad founded and directed two different pilgrimages to Lourdes and founded the Spiritual Peer Educational Centres SPEC, LOFT and SPECeast.  He supports anyone who asks for help and in particular helps Catholics.

Vladimir was born in Prague in 1939 and came to London at the end of World War II. He studied Civil Engineering at Imperial College London and received his Doctorate in Divinity (summa cum laude) from Lateran University in Rome.

Vlad has led retreats, lectured and spiritually guided people ever since his priestly ordination in 1969. He speaks English, Czech, Spanish, Italian, French and Latin. He enjoys friendship,  prayer and writing. He keeps as fit as possible and does press-ups daily to the total of each year of his life since conception.

144 replies on “HEADS TO ROLL AT WESTMINSTER CATHEDRAL.”

I can’t help but reflect on the fact that all the english clergy and seminarians laughed, joked and judged when there was scandal in Maynooth. You are not laughing now boys! What goes around comes around.

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The queens are busy wining and dining Monty to glean info about Swavek to use against him. If they ply him with enough gin he will sing like a canary.

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Monty has the lowdown on Witon. If I were the queens I would ply him with as much gin as possible plus lorne sausage and scots pies

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Monty won’t say anything bad against his old boss. He returned to Enfield a number of times to catch up.

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The Cathedral’s glory days are long past no one today is interested in the neo Byzantine. Most people passing it will think it’s a mosque and it’s not exactly in line with the spirit of Vatican Two. It needs to be made as ugly and tatty as the parish churches in England typically are and then shut down to save money.

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11.58am Why did Monty get kicked out of Enfield by his boss for gossiping about his boss. Fact! Got kicked out of the next parish too for the same thing. One year in each.

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The son – I believe – is the result of experimentation at university & no indication of the father’s sexuality. It makes one wonder about Hawker’s morality and Trad credentials though. Is it just an indication that – as an ex-Anglican – his religion is simple about gin and lace?

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I don’t know how a family man can afford to be Head Sacristan in WC. When he got the job the hourly rate offered was only £12.86 and it was just 28 hours a week, producing a very low salary in central London terms.

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Some single father’s have a motivation to earn as little as possible so it doesn’t get taken off them

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It could be done. On £360 a week a single man is entitled to Universal Credit – Rent covered to £1,280 – on that basis you would have just under £200 a week to live on – how is that impossible?

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Living with that priest in Soho Square might be rent free, but he treats the people who live there as his personal minions. I hear it’s like a cult house. No wonder Hawker escaped from there and moved to the oratory. Good on Hawker I say!!

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I was under the impression that Father Alexander Sherbrooke is very highly regarded by clergy and laity alike in Westminster. Tell me I’m not wrong.

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Bp Pat, I wonder how many of the ten or so monks who have reputedly done a bunk from Silverstream will gravitate towards Melleray now the Abbot there is… well, you know, “out”.

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If I had a choice say, between Farnborough and Melleray, I know which abbot I should prefer to be… well, let’s just say, under.

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Pat has taken the scalp of Rory, Gorgeous, the Irish College, Maynooth, Silverstream and probably Melleray.

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Bp Pat, you have singlehandedly shattered the reputation of the abbot and the abbey. Will you now insist it has to close down like Maynooth? I wonder.

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Show mercy, Bp Pat, like +Uncle Amy did with Rory. Give Dom another six or seven chances before closing down the abbey.

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Westminster Cathedral without doubt is a place of strife and partisanship, an unhappy and pretty dysfunctional place. It’s not had a strong hand at the tiller for a while, with Canon Tucker’s illness and death. Even before that there has been factionalism and petty jealousies going on throughout the place. Over the last couple of years + Nichols has allowed the jewel in the crown there – the music – to be damaged and diminished, ending up finally with a world class musician and choirmaster leaving in despair, because + Vin allowed the head of the school, where the choristers come from, to turn the school in to a weekday only boarding school so depriving the choir of time and space to do the real work that they need for the quality of the music. There’s been a review and a bit of a fudge of a compromise, once + Vin realised the damage that was being done, but damage has been done and quality has been reduced, and bad blood spilt on the floor all over the place. So, it is not a happy place. Will it be any happier under a Polish import Neo Cat ? I suspect not. More blood will spill, heads will roll once Slav the Slayer rides in from Enflied, and one wonders what will be left thereafter ? + Vin will be out of the door soon as he approaches 75 later this year, and hopefully Rome will accept his resignation and look elsewhere for leadership. In England and Wales, as in Scotland and Ireland, there is a severe paucity of leadership potential in the Catholic Church. I suspect we are going to have to put up with meagre mediocrity for a long time to come.

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Fr Vlad is 81 and as fit as a fiddle. He has been Canary Wharf chaplain and had a spiritual role in the 2012 Games.

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Fr Vlad is a really sensible man. He saw through Opus Dei, I believe. Even at 81, I think he will be able to make a positive contribution. He is an excellent confessor.

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More shifts for the college of chaplains.
It was announced today that Fr Christian de Lisle has been appointed to replace Fr Andrew Gallagher as Cathedral Precentor.
Mgr Vladimir Feltzmann is to join College of Chaplains with special responsibity for ecumenical and interfaith representation.

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Did I pick up a report that Littleplonker was seen waltzing along Balham High Street the other day in all his puny glory ?! Pity our correspondent wasn’t able to take a picture to entertain us. Did he has his biretta on the right way ? did he have the requisite number of buttons on his cassock ? these things are important if you want to present yourself as some latter day Victorian clergymen of the Roman persuasion.

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Can you imagine having to live in Cathedral / Clergy House at Westminster ? Smelling of boiled cabbage, decorated in lime green, shit and off shit brown ? If I was Witon, I’d stay in Enfield.

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Wilton probably likes the smell of boiled cabbage. That’s what they eat mostly in Poland, from my experience. With a bit of sausage thrown in on high feast and holidays.

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@9.33am Wrong surname you spelled. You are thinking of Derek Wilton married to dippy Mavis from the corner shop in Corrie. Drove a lime green car with paperclip on the roof.

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Polish dish you refer to Pat sounds like pierogi and is delicious. Sure the Irish have lived on cabbage too over the years so people shouldn’t knock it or the polish for liking it too. The English snobs around Westminster used to do down the Irish for potatoes. I see they are at it again with Swavek and cabbage. It’s a thinly veiled form of racism.

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Clergy House always looks like it needs to be deep cleaned and everything ripped out and replaced and totally redecorated. It’s like a 1950s boarding house inside.

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When Mark Langham was in his pomp and hearing cottagers’ confessions in Westminster Cathedral he had a single room right at the top of clergy house. It was a sort of glazed tower room. It is now a common room and it is light and airy and it opened out to the roof terrace. It suited Mark’s artistic bent. Indeed, for a long time the portrait he did of POD sat in the room, unfinished.
Mark didn’t have a separate bedroom. He slept behind a curtain in an alcove. He referred to it as his arras and would ask visitors if they wanted to see his arras.

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5.40pm, Fr Witon is wasting no time. Fr Christian has only just taken up his first PP appointment in West London, after being AP in Homerton. A young traddie. Where is Fr Andrew being sent?

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Madrid Cathedral had a complete overhaul c/o Kiko and his noecat murals. Is Westminster ready for this? Is Fr. Suavec preparing the WAY for +Nichol’s sucessor? How about a Spaniard this time round? HAHA

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The 9:23 comment raises the all important question of who the Leader of the Catholic Church really is . The Institutional Church needs to concentrate on its own infallible teaching about the Mystical Body of Christ and bring to the fore of its attention the only requirement for clergy, laity and the whole world ;i.e. The Holiness of God.
Is it possible that a “Polish Cabbage dish” could be better than colcannon?

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I believe in Dublin they put the sausage into coddle or do they take the sausage out of the coddle. Agh now stop. I am all confused.

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Speaking of Tighe, him and Eamon Fitzgerald do dine at CiPASSO together in Rome. A favourite of Tighe. Not cheap

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Paulus Tightus was the social media correspondent that reported you to the vatican police in Rome Pat 🤫

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Does anyone know whether the Neo Catechumenal Way has got Third Party Public Liability Insurance either in its own frank “guise” or as part of any or all of the many senior powerful archdioceses?

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John Travolta OLeary. Former Sec to Vinny and Carmel. Loves the caravan holidays!
Now Vice Rector in Alice Hall.
Monty has plenty on him.

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They said Vinny didn’t kick Monti out of the Beda at the time of “The Incident” because he has so much dirt on the clergy. Total gossip queen. Has had so many chances by Vinny it’s unreal.

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Paper never refuses ink and Buckley and his Blog will ever relish the queeny gossip of the “Westminster correspondent” and all the other hidden snipers and snoops. “Valley of the Squinting Windows”.

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Pat @1.16pm. Paid for a personal trainer for Monti yes but was a waste of money and effort. The weight didn’t stay off for long as the clergy here said at the time.

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Brinkley, when no one in the town would sell his book, simply hired a plane and showered the unsold copies on to the streets of the town – Ireland’s substitute for uncensored social media circa 1918. Perhaps Ireland would be a healthier and a more honest place if there had been more Brinsleys with imagination in the generations since.

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Bp Pat, do you think Dom Richard will feature in the “When Irish Eyes Are NOT Smiling” column of the November issue of CTS’s newsletter? Seems more than likely.

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Who is the ex-Anglican priest Prefect of the Sacristy?

They cannot just sack Hawker. He would win an employment tribunal for unfair dismissal. The priest though would have to accept unfair dismissal.

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Calm down, petal. The PP of Mullagh has over two decades of experience as a seminary formator. An ideal appointment and Alice Hall has had a first generation Irishman as rector (POD) and a second generation one too (O’Toole).

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Yes, two ex-Anglican Rogers are on the shortlist of three candidates for West London auxiliary, if they ever fill it. Third one is Mgr Jim, who thinks he should replace Elsie.

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Roger R has spent a lot of time hanging around bishops (e.g. CMOC) and the Conference for E & W. He’s a good networker like that. Makes himself quietly known. Why, though, he is being considered for a mitre, I find bemusing. Such an appointment is designed to piss off pretty much every other priest in Westminster. Vinny knows that, and is sending a signal of distain to the vast majority of clergy, who cannot wait for him to retire and bugger off to Chiswick. There will not be many tears shed. That man has long since sold most of his ‘friends’ down the river in pursuit of his own ambition. If I were the nun, I’d watch out, because Vin will dump her when it suits him. He will end up sad and lonely and Billy No Mates.

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3.15pm, is that Nurse Reader? Cormac’s carer. Elsie will be in the Chiswick house, so Rog will have to slum it at OLOV in Alan Hopes and Stuart Wilson’s old flat. It explains why an AP is being sent to Willesden, where they haven’t had one for 10 years.

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Didn’t Reader used to ration CMOCs gin ? Then he went off for a sunshine tour in Valladolid, but that didn’t seem to last too long – interpersonal differences, I’m told – then back to Westminster when Vin took him back. If he’s going to be mitred, it’s another finger to the indigenous clergy, bypassed by ex-Anglicans and Poles. Vin really does know how to piss people off.

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Yes; the grinning greasy Latino must have invited him back. The Vatican will smell all the, erm, sweeter with Georgie boy’s return.

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3.40: I agree with you. The haters of Cardinal Pell are all full of faux outrage. These same crackpots couldn’t care less about a vagrant on the street or at their doorstep. The haters are full of contradictions and are morally bankrupt. They are truly alive when they spew out their venomous crap. If these same trollopes sent their comments to a newspaper by way of a letter to the editor, they’d be put in a bin.

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4.25
You love fairytales, don’t you? That virtual world?
Keeps you from living in the real one. 😕

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A@3:40: Your God might deign to impart some intellectual ability as well as humility into Pell. Did you read my comment a few days ago where I quoted the perceptions of Professors Richard Dawkins and Prof Krauss after participating in a debate with Pell?
In summary, they were gobsmacked at his intellectual inadequacy, his lack of any basic understanding of evolution, and yet despitewthis he made all sorts of patently erroneous statements quite oblivious to the contrary evidence.
Such is the level of a “Prince of the RCC .”
His apparent arrogance typifies much of its institutional malaise.
That “ontological change” has a lot to answer for!
MMM

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Mourneman 7.44, I’m having trouble following this up, please can you give either:

– which day’s blog your comment was on, or
– the site where the remarks of the two after the debate are carried

For starters I suspect evolution itself isn’t well understood by and large. Dawkins is truly outstanding in genetics, morphology and ethology (and humorous sketch writing incidentally). He and classmates were molested by vicars and their subordinates in three successive boarding schools and far from my blaming him I think the likes of Pell don’t give him a proper break.

I would draw on Quine and Godel about not disproving things and would stress that leaving a question open places no-one under obligation. I would roundly condemn all implying that religious notions at any level impose the slightest obligation and I personally never thought so. Dawkins is obviously is looking for people that try too hard at asserting God. Pell like apparently 99 % of Vatican personnel is obtuse to the whole point of God, in his case because of his baggage in not shopping Mulkearns & Little. I think Dawkins could use stronger arguments in logic than he has been doing. I want to see the faces of arrogant christians when atheists ask them why they are blaspheming, and stunting others’ growth.

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7.44
I remember that debate, MMM. Pell came across as a total ignoramus.
As for his articulation, I’ve honestly heard 16-year-olds speak more fluently.
I was embarrassed for the man. He was well out of his depth intellectually (and out of his comfort zone, too, I expect, running the gauntlet with such minds as Dawkins and Kruss).
Pell took a real hammering on that occasion, and did nothing for the legendary nous of the Catholic Church; on the contrary, he made it appear as towering as…as a pygmy. 😅
My question is: how the hell did this dullard manage to obtain an Oxford doctorate?😕

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DRQ@8:40: I saw it on YouTube about a week ago. I sometimes watch YT on an Internet connected smart TV late at night, and similar clips of themes previously viewed will come up automatically available as potential choices. I suspect you’ll find it there by checking YT for Dawkins Krauss discussions. There’s several of their discussions there.
I quite enjoy the intellectual rigour of some of these debates involving these two, and others like Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens.
None of them ever try or even attempt to try and disprove the existence of any God or gods. They ask searching questions concerning religious beliefs and in so doing, show just how ridiculously unwarranted, weak and intellectually inconceivable is the whole farrago and shibboleth of religion and its professed “truths”. Significantly too they analyse and explain the psychological, emotional and historical factors that perpetuate this millstone blight of religion on humanity.
I’d recommend tuning in to such debates as more useful than rattling rosary beads or parroting prayers to a non existent God. It brings a sense of calm acceptance to realise just how insignificant we are in the whole scheme of things.
No doubt this will bring howls of outrage from the usual quarters and ad hominem personal criticism. It certainly won’t engender any sensible objective attempt fro RC clerics demonstrating the validity of religious beliefs. I’ve made this challenge before, most recently a week ago. As usual there’s been no response of any worth.
It seems the clergy prefer sexual innuendo and gossip to justifying their raison d’etre.
MMM

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Says he suspects that his accuser was used by enemies to bring him down, but has no evidence for this. I don’t believe a word of it.
I believe Pell’s accuser, and the other men who accused Pell of fiddling with them in an outdoor pool when they were boys.
Rome is the right place for Pell. Where else should s**t go but a moral cesspit.

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4.05 he is saying that, as a distraction from his not shopping Little & Mulkearns. Note it was arranged for Victoria to only prosecute the weakest of the cases. The inferior Victorian jury system was also allowed to have its effect. It took almost 30 years for Victoria to compensate the policeman it sacked when he uncovered the Mulkearns and Little cases. Pell isn’t going to run his evidence by the public (this is not the last five minutes of Hercule Poirot) and there isn’t an authority in the Vatican he can genuinely trust.

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Please keep digging up these journalistic gems. Use your influence and powerful work for good, bring down this corrupt cathedral and ideally the whole Catholic Church. In fact please Bishop Pat I believe that you have the ability to bring down all organised religion.

I don’t care what anyone says, you don’t sound like a narcissistic little bellend, nor do you come across as a petty prick who is obsessing over pointless bollocks over real problems.

Please keep up the good work, and don’t stop writing your insightful reflections upon the modern world.

PS I heard that the whole staff of the cathedral like to dress up as carrots and bury themselves in the grounds. They then stick their heads just proud of the ground and shout, “pick me, pick me!” at passers by. Please look into this with your astute journalistic brain, bring their evil to light!

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I’m still looking at the pics of Fr Alex. He is beautiful and must be the hottest Priest in the UK. The chap who saw him naked in the sem showers must have been over the moon! I suspect the Cardinals at the Vatican will be fighting over him with job offers.

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Pat, watch your back with Monty. Has the queens on her side and all gunning for you since the weekend. You touched a raw nerve featuring Fr Witon today, a sore point for them. Westminster feelings are toxic over this appointment but we know who is to blame. This will be Elsies legacy, he created this mess and is sitting back and enjoying the fall out. When he returned back to Westminster as the Arch he had scores to settle and he has done just that. Bypassed the native clergy and used the ex Anglican queens and now the Neo Cats to twist the knife deeper.

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Hello Keyhole Kate. Such utter drivel. How would you know anything about them.
As an Enfield parishioner I can tell you that both priests are/were well respected in Enfield.
One, a very amiable Friar Tuck who worked well with the elderly and handicapped. The other who is very solid, prayerful and respectful. Father Witon has managed well through the lock down (as many other parish priests) with streamed Masses on daily basis.
You are probably an old gossip bad mouthing and name calling under the guise of anonymity.
Get a life.

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@7.41pm You say I named called and yet you begin with keyhole kate lol, what sort of old hypocrite are you. You were probably plying the friar tuck with booze and food to get parish gossip. There are priest collectors like you in every parish slipping a few quid, wining and dining plus hanging on every word of parish tit bits you can find. Away on outta that you fool.

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4.31: I suspect somehow, mr. hater, that the world of work I inhabit is much more real than your phoney world of faux outrage and hatred. God bless Cardinal Pell.

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6.54
Oh, dear! I did upset you, didn’t I? I’ll tread carefully this time, given your, um, sensitivity.
There is nothing ‘faux’ about my feelings for Georgie boy.
Rein in that imagination of yours: it’s making a fool of you. 😆

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Oh Boy. Wait until Mavis takes over Westminister. Their will be dancing and Celebrating in Shrewsbury and weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth in Westminister. Oh Boy.

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Dark Mavis would be a disaster, the trads project their conservatism on to him but he’s a true son of 1980s Ushaw can’t speak a word of Latin, his past attempts at trying to say the Old Mass were hard work for the congregation and of course his sermon is always about Vatican Two. Someone who’s Midnight Mass sermon compares gay marriage to Nazism isn’t suited to any high office. For all his supposedly anti gay views his own circle is as gay as they come

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A dark horse for a mitre is Canon Christopher Thomas, General Secretary of CBOEW. There are pics on Facebook of him dressing up as a bishop with his priest friend from Nottingham.

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Chris Thomas – could do with losing a lot of lard first. Bit gossipy too. I don’t think he’s a candidate. As for the friend he likes to dress up with……?!!!

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7.44: MMM – You’re good at quoting the atheists to prove your point. You’ve made the same comments many times: your intellectual properties are, em, ok! Usually good when using your poisonous rhetoric against believers, particularly Catholics. We each have our own personal beliefs, philosophies, world view, religious/non-religious convictions, theology, spirituality and humanity with all its variations. I respect all view points and any differences I have with others is met with respect and tolerance. Wish you could do likewise instead of mocking and ridiculing others.

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Anon@8:10: I neither need nor attempt to prove the non existence of God.Neither do those atheists I refer to.
Perhaps agnosticism better refers to my position inasmuch as knowing it is not possible to “prove” the NON existence of God, I join with many who are referred to as atheists in asking religious faith believers, especially their ecclesiastical command structure, to provide some, indeed ANY proof to support their beliefs. They cannot.
While asking for evidence is neither mockery or ridicule, it is rightly an absence of automatic deferential acquiescence to those whose behaviour destroys all rights of respect.
MMM

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MMM @ 7.44: You have shown your detestation of Catholics a for a long long time. Recently you pleased with Pat to stop ioverstating his opinion without proper and full research and validation of his information. You suggested that he should desist from name calling and offensive commentary. Pity you don’t practice what you preach and expect of others!! MMM – indeed, Mournful Moanie Maisie….

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Anon@ 8:15: If your ability to understand my criticisms was just little bit better than your use of the English language then you might begin to appreciate that my “detestation” (your word, not mine) does not personally apply to Catholics as a distinct group or as individuals. It is with reference to religious beliefs, organisations, and in particular to those who knowingly and falsely propogate such matters.
MMM

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WUNDERBAR! 8.15 criticises name calling, then does just that!
How childish 😴, or maybe just plain stupid 🤔
This blog surely attracts some right plonkers!

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There’s a lot of havoc in nearby Paisley. +Turpin has a lot of problems with this seminarian and his alleged “stalker” The seminarian is in hiding and refusing to discuss the matter with anyone. Numerous phone calls have been made to him and everyone else tight lipped on it.

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Rubbish! McNamara Is residing with Bishop John until
Saturday die to family illness. He is joining the seminary on Friday. Why are you telling lies 9.42?

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8.26: You ought to re-read your comment. You’ll discover the sheer banality, stupidity and childishness of your words. You gombeen philistine.

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Thank you Anon@7:10 for that info. Having now read your attachment quoting the University Times, I see nothing inherently objectionable in its content, only its inconsistencies.
It refers to the Hist being unaware of Dawkins views on Islam and sexual assault as the reason for withdrawing his invitation to address them.
The Hist (College Historical Society), which proudly claims to be the oldest student society in the world, also claims that “through free enquiry in a democratic society the strength of ideas and the validity of beliefs are challenged and upheld ” ( quoting Paul Molloy, the Hist Auditor in 2018). So when Brid O’Donnell, present Auditor, withdraws Dawkin’s invitation because “We value our members comfort above all else,” surely there’s an inherent contradiction? Many, like myself, and Dawkins too no doubt, would regard it as more reasonable, democratic, and informative to have welcomed Professor Dawkins to stringently interrogate his views on these matters.
I feel sure he would have been well able to acquit himself with his customary intelligence and learning, and probably allayed misconceptions of his views.
But perhaps Trinity’s student body’s openness to vigorous debate has declined to a snowflake consistency 🤔?
Did you also fail to recognise the inconsistencies yourself @ 7.10? Sad!
MMM

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