Readers will have seen a few comments on yesterday’s blog saying that I was “despised” in the gay community for “outing” gay clerics and monks.
Behind this is the supposition that gays should always protect and cover for other gays – no matter what wrong those gays are doing.
What is the difference between gays covering up for each other and priests and the church covering up for priests, monks and bishops.
The covering up of wrong doing is wrong no matter which person, group or community is doing the covering up.
I have never publicly criticised individual priests who are in loving, responsible, authentic and caring relationships with another human being. In fact I have helped, and celebrated the marriages and blessing of such people.
God’s 10 commandments apply to gays and the gay community as much as it does to heterosexuals.
Gays, as well as straights have to have some moral boundaries and an ethic.
And gay priests, monks and bishops have taken public vows of celibacy and chastity.
And on the basis of those public vows they get respect, authority and material possessions bestowed upon them.
It is hypocritical of such people to publicly pose as chastitutes and at the same time to be cynically getting their ends away.
And there is a MASSIVE difference between a cleric involved in a committed relationship with another (although forbidden) and a cleric who is on the promiscuous scene, on Grindr etc, and frequenting saunas like the Boilerhouse and having the extreme forms of sex.
If you want to be a Christian ( and no one is forced to be) and especially a cleric or monk, there are still Christian morals, teachings and ideals to hold oneself too.
No holes barred sex and Christianity are not compatible.
And I am not talking in anyway as a sinless one – even on sexual matters.
In 1973 I had the briefest of sexual encounters with a young man my age.
I confessed the encounter as a sin the next morning at 7 am.
In the early 1980s I had another brief sexual encounter with a man my age and I confessed the encounter as a sin the next morning.
In 1984 Cahal Daly put me on sacking notice and I was from the RC priesthood by July 1986.
During some counselling and therapy, that was partially focused on my sexuality, after 1986 I did some exploring of my sexuality – exploring most people do between the age of 15 and 25.
That exploring was with consensual adults and I always approached it carrying my emotions very much with me. I am either blessed or cursed by needing to have intimacy that involves emotions. I find totally emotionless intimacy as being, for me, empty and disheartening.
I am indeed now well freed from my emotional and sexual Catholic guilt and anxiety.
A very important thing for me as a Christian to achieve was to integrate my sexuality with my spirituality. That was a minor part of my exploration too.
This was especially important as I was a
1. Childhood sexual abuse by another male.
2. Had Catholic repression and guilt foisted on me for so many years.
I have written about this in my 2095 book
But I can still sin, I can still do wrong in every way including sexually.
Sin has not been abolished.
In my own case I have been absolutely open about my sexuality for well over 20 years now.
I have had two relationships – one lasting 16 years and my current one lasting 13 years.
I have never been in a gay sauna as I would find the atmosphere there far too impersonal and demoralising.
I imagine very few people find love in a sauna?
OBJECTIVE (NOT SUBJECTIVE) SINS THAT CAN OCCUR IN THE GAY COMMUNITY
Deliberately giving another person HIV or an STI.
Lying about your sexual health.
Cheating on your partner.
Drugging a person’s drink.
Getting sex by pretending to love or care.
Telling lies and making up fake identities and stories.
Of course all these faults are also very common in Straight Street.
Anyway, I think we have enough material to discuss in the above, today.
I don’t mind being despised.
It’s actually a sign that you’ve done something 😊