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PAEDOPHILIA v SEXUAL ABUSE.

Yesterday, a reader asked for a blog about the difference between paedophilia and sexual abuse.

A search of the internet found the site of this charity:

The site contained the following informative article:

My experience as a paedophile, cured by NHS psychoanalysis 

 
Written by Jack Dawson, December 2016   

My motive for writing this piece is to give hope to people who are suffering with paedophilia.


I myself was a paedophile – a paedophile who never abused a child, either directly or indirectly, through the use of child abuse pornography. I loathe the way that our rulers, the media, and our public institutions demonise paedophiles and ignore your needs for help, your efforts to avoid abusing, and your yearnings for treatments which will free you of this curse.

I was lucky – I was referred by my GP, in 1972, to the NHS Portman Clinic in London, assessed and then treated free of charge by psychoanalytic psychotherapy, with once a week sessions over three years. I even had my train and tube fares paid, for I was a student and low paid worker. By the end of 1975 I had achieved 100% cure of my paedophilia, and my life was transformed. I no longer had to avoid being in the presence of children in case I unwittingly showed my sexual interest in young boys by some eye movement or turn of my head . I no longer had to watch every conversation or social occasion in case, by some slip of the tongue, I revealed that sexual interest, or my fear and inadequacy in the presence of attractive young women.

I will tell you my story, briefly, then I will describe how my treatment and cure worked, and suggest what you can do. Lastly, I will suggest that we all – your allies – must work towards providing more curative treatment resources for paedophiles, as part of a strategy for ridding the world of all paedophilia and all child sexual abuse.

My Story

I was raised with my siblings in a loving, secure, lower-middle class family, and my mother was a very caring mum. I was a rather sensitive, shy boy who was a bit of a handful sometimes. There was some intermittent low-level conflict between my parents, and, when it happened, I always sided with my mother, because I saw myself as ‘mummy’s boy’.  Our mum usually presided over bath times and made sure we washed and dried ourselves properly. When I was ‘choirboy age’, perhaps less than eight to more than ten, my mum had the habit of drying me on her knee and then playing with my genitals, pulling my scrotum over my penis and then letting it pop out – that kind of thing. She did this often. I never had an erection and never considered these ‘fiddlings’ by her to be sexual. My memory is that she was being curious and playful. I never thought of her feelings as sexual, though of course they may have been.

However, those small but regular ‘interferings’ really did damage. They were, of course, powerfully sexual occasions for me, despite my total blocking – denial – of that fact. My massive repression of my sexual responses to her ‘fiddling’ had huge consequences for my psychic development. Incest in whatever form has huge consequences for the child victim. I did not develop sexual feelings for girls, but instead became sexually fixated on young boys of the same age at which she had interfered with me. I became fixated on repeating in fantasy the sexual behaviour of my mother towards me.


So massive was my psychic effort to repress the horrifying fact that I had repeatedly been in a sexual act with my mother that I developed awful sadistic fantasies, and acted them out masochistically against myself. My fantasies were of castrating or circumcising (symbolic castration) young boys. My masochism was in cutting and piercing my own genitalia. At one point I feared that my genitals had become gangrenous and I had trouble repressing the blood loss – all in secret.

That, I think, was the single worst two days of my paedophiliac youth. My psychic fantasies of castration were a massive attempt to cut away the fact that I had had adult sexual feelings for my mother, and was thus in sexual competition with my father, with whom I already felt myself to be at war, in some way. It was the Oedipus story all over again.

I had no real friends during those years. My feelings towards women were of fear and disgust at their bodies. My whole attitude was one of denial of my perverse sexuality, or of any sexuality. I put massive psychic effort into convincing myself that I was innocent of all adult sexual feelings – a child, a Peter Pan. I did not discover masturbation until I was 17, nor did I attempt to view pornography, and, in any case, I did not imagine that such a thing as child pornography existed. I yearned to be normal, like my brother and other youths.

I went away to university at 18, which provided me with partial independence from the ‘stuck’ relationships I had within my family. I gained a good group of friends, some of whom I still have, became an active socialist, and grew my hair halfway down my back. I lost my virginity, though my lover realised how unsuitable I was as a boyfriend, with my nervous shyness and limited, semi-sexual responses.

When I was nearly 21, I overheard my ‘best friend’ telling my other housemates and best friends that he thought I was a paedophile. I listened from another room to their talk and laughter. I put on my coat and walked across town to the home of the leader of my small socialist group, who was not a friend, but whom I admired and trusted. When I sat down I burst into tears and told him who I really was. Together we worked out what to do. He contacted the Richmond Fellowship to get me a referral. I went to the university Health Centre GP.

He was a young, relaxed, cheerful man who smiled and scoffed at my fears that paedophilia was not curable, telling me he would refer me to a clinic which dealt with problems such as mine. Within a few weeks I received a letter inviting me to attend an assessment for treatment at the NHS Portman Clinic in Hampstead, London. In the second half of 1972 (only a month or so after my assessment) I started once a week psychoanalysis there. By the end of 1975 I was cured. I have never since had a paedophilic fantasy.

Since then my life has been on an upward trend, sometimes bumpy, sometimes with downward dips, sometimes in the doldrums, but always with an underlying upwards lift. I have been with the woman I love for 13 years and am part of her warm family, with lots of step-grandchildren. I am proud of my achievements, which are small but real.


The NHS and the Portman Clinic salvaged my life and gave me this gift of many years of happiness.

My treatment and cure

Dr Glasser, my therapist, and the Clinical Director of the Portman, told me at my assessment interview that the treatment would consist of me ‘free associating’ – talking about whatever came into my head.

He made an analogy with boats anchored on a tidal river. With the incoming tide a boat appears to float a bit upstream. With the outgoing tide the boat appears to float a bit downstream. By watching the boat swing between these changing positions over time, therefore, an observer can work out where the anchor is hidden below.

Thus, my seemingly random talking could reveal to us the underlying – subconscious – patterns of my mind. He also advised me not to read any psychiatric literature for the duration of my treatment, so as to concentrate and avoid creating diversions.

The weekly sessions with Dr Glasser entailed me lying down on the couch in his consulting room and talking, with only occasional comments and interpretations from him. The underlying causes of my paedophilia in my past family relationships were uncovered and explained by Dr Glasser within a few months. His suggested explanations were a surprise to me, and made complete sense. They gave me a new confidence and self-respect, but they did not change my attraction to young boys, at that stage. I did much crying in those sessions – over and over again, session after session, through the years. At first, I was surprised by my crying and told Dr Glasser of my puzzlement. He suggested that I was crying in pity for my past boyhood self, in the same way as one cries in pity when one sees or reads of someone else in distress. There was nothing negative in this pity for my past self. Such things now seem so self-evident to me, but they were all a surprise, back then.

Incidentally, Dr Glasser never used the term ‘abuse’ to describe my mum’s behaviour.  His stance was simply to explain, not to blame. It was not until some 10 years after my cure that I ever heard anyone describe my childhood experience as one of abuse. It happened when I was telling my story to a woman friend. I was shocked when she said to me: “your mother abused you.” I think that, technically speaking, my friend was right, but I also think that the word ‘abuse’, in this case, does not best describe what happened. My mother made an important mistake. She crossed a crucial boundary, but I don’t think she knew she was crossing it, and I am 100% certain that she would have been mortified if I had accused her of being an abuser.

Such mistakes can have huge consequences. We all face that reality in our lives. We can all, therefore, forgive ourselves and others.

Things did change for me over the years of treatment. I stopped neglecting my studies and worked hard to gain my university degree. In the second year of my treatment I met an attractive young woman on a working holiday and started seeing her. I was glad she did not press me for sex (for she was a traditionalist Christian) and I strongly avoided pressing her for it, though we did much kissing and stroking. I quickly broke with her, for I still felt my old inadequacy and my horror at adult sexual exchange. Later, I got close to another sexually active woman, but could not respond to her sexually when the opportunity came. That was humiliating.

During the third year of treatment I felt more and more that I was ‘stuck’. I understood why I was like I was, but the final loss of my paedophilia did not happen, and I could not see how it would go. The problem was that I hadn’t grasped that I must work for that. Explanation was not enough. Dr Glasser broke this stalemate by challenging my inactivity and suggesting that we set a date for the treatment to end that I could work towards (the end of 1975). In that last six months I focussed completely on challenging myself to be in normal social situations with women and seeking out sexual opportunities with them. It worked.

By the time my treatment ended I realised that my paedophilia had disappeared and my sexual interest had been fully transferred to women. That change, when it came, was dramatic. I had a job in an office with several attractive women and I had, up till that point, been bashful and intimidated by their sexual banter and liveliness. I suddenly found that I could cope with – and enjoy – all that normal fun. The women were as surprised as I was, and I overheard them remarking on the sudden change in me. That was nice. I was still naive and very shy and frightened of sex with women, but the deal was done. It took me a while to be ready for full sex, just as it does with any normal adolescent, but I met and went out for some months with a woman who did not press me or want full sex (for she had just left a long relationship and didn’t want to dive into another) and we had a lot of fun.

As for my paedophilia, I now found that I could enjoy the company of children. I no longer had to fearfully retreat from them in case I revealed my old sexual feelings to myself and those around me. All those paedophiliac feelings vanished like frost when the warm rays of the sun at daybreak first shine upon it. Children are a delight, and I am so very glad to have them in my life in the way any normal adult can.

The options for cure that paedophiles now have
The NHS Portman Clinic still exists and still treats paedophiles with in-depth psychoanalytic psychotherapy. It also treats many other sexually deviant people and those who have been violent.

Its criteria for accepting a patient, however, are now narrower than they were, as a result of cuts to NHS spending and an increase in demand for its services. This increase in demand is fuelled both by the huge increase in internet pornography and the equally huge exposure of the extent of child sexual abuse. The Portman now only accepts referrals of people who have committed offences. That is a major change from my time there. If I was a youngster now, I would not be accepted for treatment at the Portman, because I did not abuse children.

There are, of course, huge numbers of people who have succumbed to temptation and the belief in the ‘lesser evil’, and committed abuse byusing on-line pornography, as well as all those who have directly abused children.

If you are one of those people, and you are sick of your behaviour and keen to change, then I strongly urge you to seek a referral to the Portman. They will assess you and be looking for you to show an interest in exploring the roots of your sexual damage and offending, as well asa lively wish to be rid of that behaviour and thinking. If you abuse alcohol or drugs, then that will be a problem in getting accepted for treatment, for your attention needs to be unclouded.

The Portman’s criteria for success in treatment are also narrower than they were in my time. They now judge success by whether the patient is able to control his or her offending and securely manage their behaviour so that they do not re-offend. Given the intrinsic curative potential of the treatment they still do achieve real cures, but they do not judge their success by such cures.

It is a tragedy that the Portman has had to narrow its criteria for treatment and success in these ways, and non-offending paedophiles should not simply accept their exclusion. In my case, for instance, paedophilia was not just confined to fantasy. I repeatedly self-harmed genitally, and may have put my own life in danger by my mutilations. Would a history of self-harm, perhaps, tip the balance in favour of acceptance for treatment?

For non-offending paedophiles there are private psychoanalytic practitioners who will accept paedophiles for treatment and have appropriate expertise. There are not many, but they do exist. Two years ago I made contact with a woman who shared a somewhat similar developmental history to me, though what she suffered as a child was far worse. She had been repeatedly abused by multiple abusers, from inside and outside her family, both in her infancy and through her childhood. To her great horror, she discovered in early adulthood that she could be strongly sexually attracted to infants of the age at which she was herself first abused. It took all her strength to resist the temptation to abuse, and she succeeded. She found herself a private psychotherapist whom she trusted, and is now cured of her past paedophiliac desires and has much love and achievement in her life.

The specialist psychoanalytic literature has good examples of deeply disturbed paedophiles (again, far worse than I was) who responded over time to caring psychoanalysis and managed to rid their lives of their old damage. For those at the worst end of the paedophile spectrum this process takes long years and full psychoanalysis, with several sessions a week. If the patient sticks at it, they can succeed.

Of course, such treatment requires time and money, and most of us do not have that. It is our job – as your allies – to work to make sure that in the future this will change.

Ridding the world of paedophilia and child sexual abuse

Over 40 years ago, when I was at the Portman, we lived in a time of hope. I wanted to see (and still want to see) the example of their treatments reproduced until every town across the country has such a clinic. Everyone, child, woman and man, who needs them, deserves the chance to be assessed for the proven treatments which are capable of curing so much sexual distress. Though this expansion did not then happen, it still must, and still can. The world can again turn away from the darkness.

It may seem that the demonisation that is directed at paedophiles, irrespective of whether they have offended, is undefeatable, and it is not surprising that many people are so angry at the child abuse which has afflicted so many of us. Yet there is an abundance of good people who realise that many paedophiles were themselves the victims of child sexual abuse, and that other paedophiles will likely have suffered other forms of childhood trauma and abuse. Paedophiles are a sub-set of those many adults damaged in childhood by abuse and adult mistakes.

It is clear that most victims of child sexual abuse are as starved of in-depth psychotherapeutic treatments as paedophiles. We live in a time when the rhetoric of government, state, and media anger at child abuse is demonstrably hollow. It is not matched by widespread resources made available for the support of all those affected.

There is room for us all to make the argument that we need these potentially curative resources to be universally available. There is room for the argument that the healing of paedophiles brings nearer the day when the horror of all child abuse is a thing of the past. There is room for the argument that all childhood psychic damage that can be healed should be healed…and paedophilia can be healed.

PAT SAYS:

Paedophilia is a condition – the condition of being sexually attracted to prepubescent children. The condition in itself is not a crime.

Sexual abuse is an action – the sexual abuse of another human being.

Some paedophiles never act out their sexual fantasies and are therefore not guilty of sexual abuse.

Many sexual abusers are not paedophiles eg rapists, flashers and those guilty of various kinds of sexual assaults.

In society we try and prevent things like Covid happening.

Does it not make sense that we should prevent paedophiles from acting out too?

Prevention is better than cure and in the long run possibly less expense from both the financial and human suffering points of view.

Would it not be a good thing to encourage non-acting out paedophiles to come forward for help by letting them see that the medical profession regards their condition as manageable or curable.

I think that what Jack Dawson’s mother did to him at bath time was very, very strange and may well have amounted to abuse.

I would imagine that too early sexual experiences is not good for development.

Could a child not think: “If it was ok for my mother to do that to me is ot not ok for me to do that to other little boys”?
 

131 replies on “PAEDOPHILIA v SEXUAL ABUSE.”

stopitnow.org.uk is another charity service aiming to prevent abuse.
In addition to what he says about the change in the clinic in London, very very few people get long term psychotherapy on the NHS these days and of course privately it is very expensive. I hate to think what the UK will be like in another thirty years with the NHS literally falling apart.

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People have to learn to move on . I was violently abused as a youngster and sure , I can remember it, but it does not control my life, I think back from time to time and I realise how lucky I am to be alive and I agree it does help to talk about it from time to time, but beyond that , it’s in the past and I would suggest others need to adopt the same approach and stop making mountains out of molehills. Drop the curtain on these various experiences and get on with living. Nobody gets through life without the odd dent. I was knocked down as a boy but I haven’t needed therapy in order to cross the road. This man says he has an interest in children, or rather that he ‘did have’ an interest in children,that does not mean he has to act on his interest or dwell on it. Get out there , try the adults, you never know , you might like it, true you might not but you’ll get nowhere contemplating your naval and crying. The Japanese introduced their sons to a Geisha girl at a certain age and it was their job to open up the menu to these innocents (sexually speaking ) and show them the possibilities, even if they were gay, I have no doubt that in England we would hold up our hands in horror and shout ‘Sexual Abuse !!!!’ never the less I am reliably informed that the Japanese are very well adjusted sexually. May I make an impassioned plea that we move on and stop this obsession with sex.

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Barry you are one of the lucky ones who can do this. I would request you stop making unrealistic demands of the people who are unable to function because of their abuse and learn to understand that your attitude retraumatises people.
Living with significant effects of trauma is not being obsessed it is being perpetually in fight or flight and even dissociation. This takes years of therapy to deal with and is not something you can just move on from.

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Anon@11:03: Your comment, and opinion, is not always the case, so don’t make such a broad all encompassing assertion. Many of us, as Barry said, move on and don’t let past events rule our future. Yes, some may need therapy; some broken limbs need crutches: some pick themselves up, dust themselves down, ……and get on with it.

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@12:12 I think you are confused about timings because nowhere do I state it is always the case. Neither do I deny that some people can’t just get on with it. Did you actually have anything meaningful to say? BTW hypervigilance and hyperarousal are trauma symptoms so you might want to revisit your point.

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I take your point and of course I realise people handle trauma in different ways but what if there is no one else to talk to , what then? There was only my mother for me and she had hysterics,indeed I think it broke her more than it did me . There was no such thing as counselling in those far off days and court appearances were an additional trauma. No anatomical dolls to point to, no video links, you had to tell the court what happened and live it all again. Obviously I cannot say what sort of person I would have grown up to be had I not gone through this, but I had to move on. I’m not saying abuse is easy to deal with and it certainly DOES help if you can talk to someone but sooner or later you have to help yourself. You fall in the water you either swim or you drown.Having said all that perhaps I can, at least to a degree, understand the point being raised, I was lucky. By the grace of God I lived to fight another day but I will admit the thought of what my fate almost certainly would have been had they not been interrupted, does hit me like a cold sponge. I still believe they were going to kill me when they were finished , I owe my life to the man who broke up the party. I do have difficulty with that. So perhaps we do have an understanding of sorts.

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@12:18: ……”Timings?”
OK, you “made no denial”, but certainly implied.
And I don’t need to “revisit”, nor am I confused: just pointing out reality.
So thank you for agreeing with my initial comment

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11:03 am – Thank you for your very sensible and caring words.
You are right, ‘living with significant effects of trauma is not being obsessed’.
People have nightmares and flashbacks, and when the abuse and your abusers are being protected then is is soul destroying, it crushes you as a human being.
Only recently a consultantant informed my GP that he wants me to attend trauma therapy because of what happened to me.
I am now very much looking forward to the end of the criminal investigation so that me and my family can begin to move forward.
I also hope all those involved, even with the covering up, are dealt with appropriately by the criminal court system.

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Barry this is a disgusting comment. I invite you to step into my shoes for a few days. And then you would swallow those words.

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I am 100% with Barry on this. People moaning about covid, whingers complaining about not getting the vaccine. Abuse survivors nearly every day on the news. Compensation is all you ever hear becsuse in the north of Ireland we have become a compensation, benefit, gurnin culture. For God sake move on and stop your constant moaning. Loads of abuse victims never keep going on about it or want compensation and have simply got on with their lives. I know a lady who claims she was abused but was never abused simply only to get DLA. Let’s get real.

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At 12.19, yes, poor Biddy has a tendency to ignore what she doesn’t like, but which do anyhow exist. National borders, for instance.

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11.47
‘People have to learn to move on.’? Really? How many more platitudes have you in that big bag of yours?
‘Life goes on.’?
‘Come to terms with it.’?
‘No one loves a misery-guts.’
‘Time is a great healer’?
And so monotonously and predictably on.
Fella, you’re a bore.

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You bored 6:50?
That’s a typical response of an immature child who neither appreciates nor understands what’s before his very own eyes.

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Lol Elsie has always got a face on her like a slapped arse!
And recently, a slapped arse with very red cheeks 🤣

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Yes, those red cheeks normally seen after years of outdoor work. There couldn’t possibly be another cause with Elsie could there!

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A moving story there Pat. Just imagine all the pain that could be spared, and all the resources saved, if peadophiles could go to something like this before they offended. It clearly works. Perhaps not for the psychopathic ones – Roy Whiting for example. He was pure evil.

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Amy Martin used his wide variety of contacts in Derry to get Brendan Marshall a position currently with BBC radio Foyle. It’s quite an advantage having a reference from Amy. Rory id returning back home at Easter. The Salesians are cross with Amy because they felt by accommodating Rory was attracting negative publicity towards them. Watch the pieces of the jigsaw slowly slot into place with this one. The Eugene Sweeney/Stephen Wilson story, however, was completely false and the work of a mischief merchant. Amy is planning moves and Tommy McHugh has made it known he wants to stay by Amy’s side.

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Rory will be in a parish again soon just like McCamley has been plus the ppp, porn priest pomeroy. No matter what gay antics clergy in Armagh get up to then all is forgiven by Amy until you caught again with your knickers round your ankles. They will just tread carefully but get up to the same old same old. Down with this sort of thing.

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Yes taken in by the Servites at the request of Derry girl Amy via Benburb. The Fulham lot don’t appreciate the negative publicity this decision by Amy has brought to their door. Who will now have to deal with Amy’s problem they call Rory. Expect opposition to this in a big way. If London doesn’t want him why should the likes of Lordship, Loughgall, Lurgan or even the Loup.

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@9.51 Yes, Bob. These appointments were in the pipeline by the time Farrell was appointed. He was satisfied with them and agreed to their implementation. Nothing new here. You are simply catching up with information known to Dublin officials for a rather long time.

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Thank you Bishop Pat for allowing commentators to your blog the understanding that there is a difference. For years people have made statements regarding people being paedophiles when in fact they were sex offenders. A Paedophile is only interested in the prepubescent child as you wrote Bishop Pat, the form, smell, touch. There is a difference between a person who has been diagnosed as a paedophile and a sex offender. In my opinion we should not label all sexual offences as crimes committed by paedophiles as this stops those with a medical condition seeking help and can force them to offend.

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No.
You really are barking up the wrong tree.
Sex offenders commit sexual offences. The age of the target is immaterial.
You are also on a hiding to nothing with your point about age – regardless of technical differences of age the common meaning of paedophile is someone with an attraction to underage children.
I would wonder why anyone would want to imply that a sexual attraction to underage children when put into practice is not a sexual offences. It is and if is always abuse.
Criminals of all types begin their journey into crime by justifying their actions in their head and I would strongly suggest you get professional help because you are implying sex with post-pubescent children is not an offences.

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Pedophilia is a subset of sexual offending, i.e. all pedophile acts are sex offences but not all sex offences are pedophiliac.

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Lol Elsie has always got a face on her like a slapped arse!
And recently, a slapped arse with very red cheeks 🤣

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10.44 Uncalled for. Rude, crude and words suited to rather nasty correspondents. Please raise your tone or desist from crudity.

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Yes, it does all seem a bit contrived. Even if the nurse did say it, it’s interesting how he’s latched on to it and used it promote himself. And, in any case, he shouldn’t be going out and about as a ‘super-spreader’ during this lockdown. I don’t think his role and what he has to offer counts as essential worker status. There’s very little of what he does that can’t be done by phone, email, Zoom etc. Even the confirmations, which aren’t happening anyway, could be done by the local priest. Ordinations can wait. Why does he not believe that the same rules that apply to us shouldn’t also apply to him ? Looks like more clerical entitlement and exceptionalism to me.

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The most falsest man I ever knew and in the closet big time. How he plotted and schemed at Allen Hall to get a pointy hat thanks to Cormac. Don’t be fooled by that smile because behind it is a rather sneaky, cunning and nasty man. A bit like that smile from Francis.

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Indeed, he knows where the bodies are buried at Alice Hall. He is also a pal of Francis. However, Divine Renovation Network credentials may let him down, unless Fr James Mallon is appointed to Rome.

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Yes I remember that snake O’Toole plotting to get Rector of Allen Hall and turned the staff against one another. He got Cormac to get rod of at least one Rector until he got his prize. A slippery evil slug.

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10.20: The appointments are none of your business, you nasty, troublesome, interfering idiot. You are a serial trouble maker: nothing relevant to do…no real, meaningful pastoral responsibilities. You are the devil’s instrument. Lent begins tomorrow. You, Buck, should seriously begin a road of METANOIA. Thank God for Archbishop Dermot. He is acting very caringly and decisively and with much pastoral sensitivity. God bless him.
and spare/save him from the nasty, queenie butch/bitchfesters! Stay away Buck. Learn CHRIST-LIKENESS…

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Pat, do you know much about Bishop O’Toole. Maybe you are unfamiliar with all things Plymouth.

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12.32: You are a total waster….a layabout mendacious busybody…about all things but CHRIST. A nasty piece…Learn CHRIST LIKENESS…

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Sounds to me @12:27 that you could take some of your own advice. What a load of volcanic subterranean frustration, anger and nastiness must exist in you ! You really shouldn’t be using the Christ word in the context of the sentiments you express in that post. Take the beam out of your own eye first before having a go at anybody else.

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I think the angry dear, in her rage, replied to the wrong message. She is furious with Pat about Dublin, not Plymouth, it seems.
There is a NeoCat on work experience in Plymouth Cathedral.

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Lol yes 12:27 is a repeat commenter in that vein. Pat’s genius is in publishing those ridiculous comments which show exactly what the church is about.

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Lol so the kooky kollared Klub can be as enraged and scream abuse all they like but any question of their behaviour is hatred!
Thanks once again Pat for the privileged view into the twisted world of these weirdos.

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So, the likes of Quigley, Penney, Walsh (all Birmingham, of course !) and the rest…..they are not really paedophiles, rather ephebophiles attracted to adolescents and pubescents. Jolly of Liverpool, I guess, could be classed as a paedophile in that he was looking to abuse a very young child / baby. I’ve observed that most clergy that go down for abuse go for the adolescents and pubescents rather than very young children / pre-pubescents. Yep, there is sickness there, but also something very warped and evil going on.

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Important Parish Announcement

Archbishop of Dublin Dr. Dermott Farrell has appointed Very Rev. Fr. Gregory O’Brien P.P. as Parish Priest of Confey Parish in addition to his responsibilities and duties as Parish Priest of Leixlip Parish.

He has also appointed Rev. Karl Fortune C.C. as curate of Confey Parish in addition to his responsibilities and duties as curate of Leixlip Parish.

The Archbishop is confident that the people in both Leixlip and Confey parishes will be open to the changes necessary to make this venture work for the benefit of these two parish communities and the life of the Catholic Church in this area.

These appointments are effective from the first Sunday of Lent  21st February 2021

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1.35:🤣😂😁😃🤣☺👜👒👡👠👡😃🤣😂😁😉😆😚😋😎😍😍🙄🙄 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡😷😷😷😷😷😷..keeping my mouth shut as should you. Pat is not a gossip.

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‘The Archbishop is confident…’
That is church speak for ‘the Archbishop has had numerous letters of complaint but they’ll have to lump it’s.

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3.07: Lollie, you’re a howl..Kerp going! The crackpot window lacers are out gossiping all too frequently. These queens should give it up for Lent…👹👹👹🤡🤡😾😾😾😾😻😻😹😹…let them pray instead..🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏..🎀🎀🎀🙏🙏🙏🙏👅👅..

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Pat @ 3.37pm Elsie hates gossip and has hauled certain clergy in who have been guilty of it. In essence that would denote no coffee offered.

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Where are the current PP and CC of Confey off to?

PersonnelParish Priest: Rev. Paul Kenny, P.P.
73 Newtown Park, Leixlip, Co. Kildare. Tel: 01 6244637.

Curate: Rev. Peter Clancy, C.C.
75 Newtown Park, Leixlip. Tel: 01 6243533.

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1.28: Pat, you are way off the mark with personnel re: Confey. Incidentally, one of the Confey priests is 87!!!..A wonderfully committed pastoral priest for sick, housebound and hospitalised. There is a change re: clustering/grouping of parishes. That’s all. Nothing more.

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Ok. Is that older priest Peter Clancy? He was our curate in Ballygall one time.

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“Clustering” lol. That happened in England 20yrs ago. Is Ireland only catching up now??

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2.40: No. Clustering and Parishes together are in existence in Dublin Diicese for 20 years or more. Sometimes a new adjustment is required with shortage of personnel. Simple as…

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2.24: So what Bobbie Dickser…Is it a crime to be sent as Adm? Get a grip, idiot.

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To return briefly to the subject of today’s post – it is significant (and terrifying) how the mother thought that playing with her son’s genitals was acceptable. That lack of boundaries, and the fact her son had to learn the boundary elsewhere, would suggest that that sort of abuse in ignorance could carry on through generations!
It reinforces the need for education because some kids won’t learn it at home.

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???

Kenny, Paul

NameReverend Paul Kenny
PositionModerator, PriestParish Larkhill/Whitehall Grouping
???

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The Discalced Carmelites are supposed to be handing back St Joseph’s, Berkeley Road, to the Diocese. The PP has a one-way ticket to UK, when travel is permitted.

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Paul Kenny is know as Fr. UHaul. He’s always on the move. this must be his fifth appointment in seven years. Something VERY VERY odd is going on here. You should investigate .

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From the current Tablet: https://www.thetablet.co.uk/news/13856/church-faces-reckoning-as-new-abuse-cases-emerge

“The number of people accused of abuse in the Church in England and Wales jumped by 29 per cent between 2018 and 2019, the National Catholic Safeguarding Commission has disclosed, with the majority of alleged abusers – almost three quarters – being priests……
……The sharp increase, a trend over the past five years, suggests that the Church faces a reckoning over the next decade, as more cases of historic abuse come to light.”

A new tsunami of abuse cases on the horizon, it seems. + Nichols better go. But, who else wants to have to take his place and face this ?

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The author of that article seems to think that paedophilia is induced by childhood trauma and is, therefore, resolvable through psychiatry or psychotherapy. As I recall, this or similar was once thought of homosexuality.

Perhaps the author’s paedophilia was indeed down to his mother’s playing, as it were, with his genitals. But are all instances of paedophilia explainable in this way?

With paedophilia, we are, in terms of our understanding of it, roughly were we stood with homosexuality back in the sixties. Unfortunately, because of particular public loathing of paedophilia, it will take much longer than it did with homosexuality to accept that this tendency may simply be yet another orientation on the human-sexuality spectrum. A morally darker one, granted, but a point on this spectrum nevertheless

I blame Adam and Eve, technically.

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Pat, it sounds bizarre doesn’t it and of course it would not be legalized because of the issue of consent. However don’t forget that the Paedophile Information Exchange campaigned in the seventies for it to be legalized so this bizarre idea has a actually happened.
I am rather concerned about some of the comments on here today including the one you respond to, because they attempt to normalize paedophilia.
It is clearly not ok and all of the examples paedophiles use to try to make it look ok involve their own skewed reading. For example historically many European countries have had significantly lower ages of consent than they do now. This was never a paedophile’s charter because they all came from a time when life expectancy was much shorter and there was no idea of adolescence, so you were an adult much younger.
Anyone reading this who thinks sex with kids is OK: get help now. It is abuse pure and simple.

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In some countries and cultures it is already legal or acceptable respectively. And in medieval Europe, it was once widely legal, even respectable, but ofen with the proviso that intercourse must not take place until a girl was around 13 years of age.

Personally, I believe it should NEVER be legalised, because the parties involved are not equal in so many respects.

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At 4.12, I am the commentor at 3.35.

Where in my post did I even remotely attempt to ‘normalize paedophilia’?

You need to control your imagination, or sharpen your comprehension. But what you won’t do is control conversation about the subject, however much someone’s point of view makes you ‘rather concerned’.

The sooner conversation on this subject becomes less an emotional and emotive polemic and more a rational debate, the greater progress we are likely to make.

If you lack the stomach for honest and robust discussion, retire yourself to gentler pastures.

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4.12

You can’t see the irony here, can you?

“For example historically many European countries have had significantly lower ages of consent…This was never a paedophiles charter…”

And yet, grown men were marrying pre-pubescent children and many of these men were having sex with their ‘wives’.

Of course it was a paedophile’s charter!

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7.16

Rereading your comment won’t change the fact that you are wrong.

The Church itself prohibited sexual intercourse in such ‘marriages’ until the girl was deemed physically developed enough to bear children (around 13 years of age). Which means that the Church recognised that female ‘spouses’ here were indeed underage, even for the times.

Many ‘husbands’ did not wait for that prohibition to expire, instead making pregnant girls of around 12 years of age. Guess what happened next? Many of these girls died.

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And I’m still right because the age of 13 which you mention was exactly what I had in mind. I meant what you said. I didn’t give an actual age and another example would be the Bulgarian age of marriage which was 12 and for the same reason.
And the reason- that a 13 year old was deemed old enough to have a family and thus not a child.
Since you bring up the subject of the church I will remind you that a couple are not married until they have consummated the marriage and thus in your example the youngsters actually weren’t canonically married.
You’re not the sharpest tool in the box.

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7.47
There is little more pathetic than a person who won’t admit they are beaten when indeed they have been; and soundly so.
The CHURCH did not regard these female spouses as adults WHICH IS WHY IT MADE THAT PROHIBITION. This was to protect them physically should they have become pregnant.
You presented absolutely no evidence, zilch, for your claim that society in general regarded these young spouses as adults in any way, shape, or form. Your PRESUMPTION of such is not evidence. By contrast, I presented the Church’s prohibition on sexual intercourse as evidence that these young spouses were not considered adults at all. Which meant (and I’ll spell it out for you) that the Church considered them still children. If the Church thought this way, then society in general did, too, since the Church at the time set a particular moral and deferential lead.
These marriages took place for social convenience and gain ( for example, to create family alliances with the nobility) NOT because society thought these children were, in fact, actually adults.
What an utterly crass thing to say!

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Further to my post at 8.29, these marriages were still valid in the Church’s eyes since consummation of them, though theoretically delayed, was by ANTICIPATION. Which means that they were valid from the get-go.

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You actually don’t have the first idea do you?
Next you’ll be saying that an age of consent at 16 is an invitation to abuse 15 year olds and marriages are consummated by anticipation at engagement.
Anticipation? What the hell is that? I might anticipate eating a steak for dinner but it doesn’t mean I’ve eaten it by anticipation.
Please tell me you are on a marriage tribunal, it would make my day. Actually no, wait, such pig-headed ignorance and stubbornness can only come from one person who comments on this blog. Did you get all those PhDs you claim to have by anticipation?

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This article is interesting cis it relates to 1st school for deaf boys. I never thought of this or realised this until I read and seen it. Nuns didn’t have an expertise in child care management as their expertise was prayer and charity. That article makes sense as regards to lack of boundaries. They brought out their own sexual frustration on ourselves. We didn’t realise that until later age when urges went too far. Where did that come from as we rem saying it to ourselves. Even some nuns brought little deaf kids to their boobs when bathing and cleaning with hot water. There was one nun who was Abbess /superior who went to extremes except for teaching. She can’t touch teaching or teachers or interfere with them. I rem one day I asked teacher that I wanted to go to loo and was given. Much to my surprise, that nun was outside waiting for boys who wanted to go to toilet. This is an example of extreme or obsessive behaviour coming from that nun. All other nuns none of that kind of behaviour. She came from the North as her bother worked on RUC. Her kind of extreme or obsessive behaviour carried on for 15 years. I was wondering why Archbishop mc quaid picked her order to run that school for deaf boys. When school was eventually closed down as I was delighted but not for some who came after when that particular mum was removed in other words, sacked. Teacher reported it to upstairs. She never became a superior again in any school ran by her order. She was sent back to the North until she was early 80’s when she returned to die there. Lot of us were texting or put comments on fb when she died. Comments went too far such as she go to hell or evil woman or go to Hell in capital letters. That was the depth of our feelings towards her cos of her obsessive cruelty and lack of sexual boundaries which had us confused at times. My advice now was to send any deaf kids to a secular school or non Catholic school or school closer to their homes. I realised now that some of the religious orders are dysfunctional in the extreme as I couldn’t understand why re no nun reported her even they had seen it themselves.

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Thank you for an insightful comment.
We can all have conflict with others but generally if people say that about you after your death you haven’t been a ray of sunshine.

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Anon at 7.21pm
What I am trying to say here is that religious orders or rcc(parts of it) haven’t been a Ray of sunshine. Analogy is rcc is like an infected virus which infects anyone(not all of it) who entered in their schools with psychological injuries or trauma injuries. This is to imply that rcc is quite bit dangerous when it comes to accessing your kids. Just stay away from it. That’s my experience.

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Dublin or any diocese news re movements of priests are meaningless to me as a layperson. Oh why all the focus on them while they as rcc are fast becoming more irrelevant and downsizing depends on the numbers of Catholics.
Key point is to make them exposed and exposed again to ingrain in our minds or Joe public minds re their irrelevancy and false gospel . RCC want to make it special as fiction as if they were special orthogonal species.

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If they are becoming meaningless to you deaf geezer why make a song and dance? You sure as hell make it your business. You do talk some tripe.

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I find Deaf guy to be very insightful and wise. I really look forward to his posts for their wisdom. Mind you I was hit by a bus when crossing the road and I have cognitive issues.

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Pat, so many comments today have ignored altogether a deeply significant topic.These people are time-wasters, and their comments should not have been published.

If you want people to stick to the topic of the day, you should not publish irrelvant material, some of which is just childish nonsense. You don’t help the blog by doing so; in fact, you simply encourage others to post in similar fashion.

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Totally agree.
On a separate note. It has only happened this week. I have to click on the comments number twice this week to see the comments.
Garngad Lad

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I don’t believe, for one moment, that Jack Dawson is cured of paedophilia. I believe that he wants to be free of it, craves to be free of it. But this isn’t the same as a cure. And that is dangerous, for him AND for boys.

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I wish MMM were around to give his perspective on this important subject. He at least would stick to the topic, unlike some who posted today.

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@7.20pm If you are that bored watch Eastenders instead, it’s on soon. It makes more sense than Mournful Mickey. If you are relying on him for inspiration you need help and soon.

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@7:31: Good to see that some more intelligent commentators, like you, are up to speed on Eastenders matters. Mind you Eastenders is a bit tame. I’d have thought Coronation Street more your style: all that bitching; I’ve never watched it but am told it’s a real turn on. I’m sure you’d know.

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7.20: MMM is not an expert- he was inky a social wirker/suoerintendent/inspector.. Leave him out. We can read Wikipedia ourselves or reputable medical journals. You are right: The topic for today, serious and relevant, has been hijacked by low life queenies to spew out silly, juvenile, prepubescent nonsense.

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What would MMM know about current issues? He was a seminarian before the war and retired as a social worker in 1972.

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Irrespective of his employment record/period, it is a misconception to think an ordinary social worker would have expert knowledge in this area. Dealing with offender’s is an area of specialisation, and if I recall correctly he once said his main work was child care. That in itself has different specialisations: fostering, adoption, protection etc.

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Patsy, did you make any pancakes today and are you giving out any ashes tomorrow,? Btw Patsy tell that mob up in Larne to cool their heels over the Irish sea border. They now recognise in Brussels the place they call Larne.

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8.00: Yes, Pat, blessed ashes – sadly only behind closed doors. Let all who follow Christ truly repent and make sacrifices for the common good…

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1-Henry Balkwill the Clifton diocesan student who had been attending the St Johns Seminary at Wonersh Surrey had the criminal case against him thrown out at Staines Court England.

Link supplied;https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9228989/Trainee-priest-accused-downloading-indecent-images-children-case-thrown-out.html

I take it he will be free to return to this seminary. However he may find a problem. St Johns Seminary closes permanently in June 2021 and the remaining students are to be transferred elsewhere

Link supplied;https://www.thetablet.co.uk/news/13485/with-great-sadness-trustees-decide-wonersh-must-close-
I take it there is no connection between the Balkwill criminal case and the seminary closure?

2-Arundel and Brighton diocese would make for an interesting case study. Once Murphy’O’ Connor’s domain it has now closed its pastoral centre St Cuthman’s, its seminary St Johns at Wonersh Surrey and incurred the deaths of I believe 8 diocesan priests in the last 12 months including the notorious Rev. Martin Jakubus

Link attachedhttps://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/422260/Church-paedophile-persuaded-not-to-resign-by-priest-finally-faces-justice-for-abuse

3-With all these financial savings the diocesan bishop Richard Moth can redirect the funds towards what now appears to be the only growth industry in the diocese- The Safeguarding Squad. Ex cops are hired to work on the A&B Safeguarding Squad and it seems that with all this free cash resulting from clergy deaths and institutional closures even more may be brought on board to save the sinking ship. Does Moth know something we don’t?

I close with this link on the increasing number of credible allegations made against clergy- secular and regular- in England and Wales

Link attachedhttps://www.thetablet.co.uk/news/13856/church-faces-reckoning-as-new-abuse-cases-emerg

“And thus I clothe my naked villany
With odd old ends stol’n out of holy writ,
And seem a saint, when most I play the devil.”

Richard III

Very apt for Nicholls

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10.51. You’re a bit confused. Wonersh was the Southwark seminary. The diocese of Arundel and Brighton only came into being in the 60s (previously part of the archdiocese of Southwark). So no financial gains for A&B

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The only growth industry for Moth is the foreign priests he brings in to keep parishes running, especially the Nigerians. He’s in for a shock when he finds that they will have stripped the parishes bare of every asset and buggered back off to where they came from. Ask Nichols.

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