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THE WOMAN WHO BROUGHT HER SON’S SHEETS TO THE PRESBYTERY!

The Roman Catholic Church has really screwed up generations of loyal Catholics, especially when it comes to sex.

I have seen so many instances of this in my 45 years as a priest.

One case was quite extreme when I was a curate in Kilkeel – 1983 – 1984.

One weekday morning the mother of two sons and one daughter arrived to the presbytery to see me.

Unusually, she was holding what looked like folded bed sheets.

She was very upset.

She had two sons – one aged 15 and one aged 17 and she told me that when making their beds she had discovered the sheets were semen stained.

She was very distressed because her sons were regularly committing “mortal sins” and she was afraid that if anything happened to them they would go straight to hell!

She asked me to talk to her sons about their sins and to ask them to stop masturbating and to go to immediate confession after each time they did it if they couldn’t stop.

I was flabbergasted by the visit and by the details of it.

This lady was a very good lady – a daily Mass goer, a prayerful woman and a highly charitable woman, a good wife and a good mother.

She was as well educated and a very talented artist and musician.

But her poor conscience had been pulverised by years of listening to nuns and priests going on about sex and sexual sins.

She was genuinely in great distress.

I did my very best to explain to her the normal sexual development, especially of boys.

I tried to explain to her the utter normality of boys and men masturbating, not to mention girls or women.

I gave her a small reading list.

But some nuns and priests had convinced her that every time a man masturbates he wipes out 300,000 souls.

Eventually she settled down and left it with God.

As a priest once said to me:

“Pat, they wouldn’t let us get rid of our semen, and it went to our heads and made us mad”.

https://www.ncronline.org/news/accountability/what-if-you-experience-harm-instead-healing-confessional

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Licence paid

99 replies on “THE WOMAN WHO BROUGHT HER SON’S SHEETS TO THE PRESBYTERY!”

That is so sad. Lucky she got a sensible priest and not one who would take the sheets for his own, er, use.

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I don’t know why that poor woman took the sheets to the presbytery, she could have sent them to a Magdaline Laundry still their at that time. They would have been returned beautifully laundered.

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Canon Regular. Made up nut job Lace and Latin order. Why is Bishop Toole defying the pope and allowing these extraordinary masses?

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Pastoral accompaniment? Meeting people where they are at? Having a church that’s broad and inclusive? Going out to the peripheries? Who am I to judge?

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In so many ways Catholics were unnecessarily hurt and shamed by the Church’s teaching on sexuality. Sexuality is a beautiful gift and to repress any dimension of it can create horrible feelings of shame and guilt that we became repressive, anxious and we were bullied into believing we were damned to hell for any transgression. Those days are well past, thankfully. There is however a dignity and sanctity about sexuality that is not believed by everyone. But Church domination about how we live our sexuality, our intimacies and relationships has disappeared. The experiences you and i would have had in the late 70’s, early 80 ‘s no longer prevail. I was shocked on many occasions in cinfessions when grown married couples would confess some sexual “sins”. Times have changed and so have people’s understanding of morality and conscience. The Church gas destroyed its authority and integrity about human sexuality by the horrible “sins” of its “fathers and bishops”. Pat, can I plead with you to not print some of the weird, silly, repeat, nonsense comments from “newcomers”, who invariably veer way off the subject. They are an irritation and are reducing your blog to a trashy site. Their silliness is a big turn off.

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Thanks for that story about the poor women tormented by priests and nuns about masturbation.
I have found every Catholic priest I know – especially in the confessional totally obsessed with masturbation – when I was younger they wanted to know frequency, the gender of my fantasies (female) – they seemed palpably disappointed not male and treated it like it was the worst sin imaginable.
One priest said to me: ‘Stop it: I insist you stop it.’ (I was 14 I thought I can’t possibly stop it but I’ll try).
Another fished for whether I was gay (I’m a hairdresser and married with kids).
I realise now they were getting their rocks off – masturbation is a Catholic clerics ting – they get off on it and use the confessional to torture and get their kicks.
I’d never trust a Catholic priest in the confessional – they are too sexually and emotionally immature and get titillated by interrogating play people about wanking as if it’s the worlds greatest sin – when we all know everybody wanks even Fader hearing confession who is probably wanking himself off as he hears it.

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You say everybody does. Well I don’t and even when I was young and in Maynooth I did it very infrequently indeed. I was far too focused on study, exercise, prayer, the interior life and my work and friendships for all that. The habit can be a sign of loneliness and depression, and if accompanied by pornography, harmful to well-being.

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No 10:26 it is none of those things. You are right that masturbation is very variable, though, and merely indicates individual variations in sex drive.
Interesting how you imply you are in some way better though, just because you’re a castratus 😂

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11.58: Clerical Vice:: That was way in the past. Priests have changed too. You say you’re not gay as you are a hairdresser and married!!! Doesn’t stop many like you having bits on the side…or being bi or gay or whatever!!! I never trust male hairdressers…they invariably seem gay and often get too close when playing around with your head and face…

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11:58 The most bizarre religious thing there is that RC priests don’t seem to think there’s something creepy about having people tell them there sins 🤢

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I reckon it’s people like you and other pervs on the blog today who are the ones obsessed with masturbation rather than any Priest.

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Just when Marshall McLuhan (wisely contradicting Paul VI) tells them not to go on the media along comes the mega intense JP II, Pat Robertson et al with their sex obsession a.k.a “body theology”. If we were to believe these big shouts, apparently God doesn’t require single christians (while we happen to be single) unless we join their “armadas” which I’ve seen through now. All that didn’t make the international hierarchy more loyal to christians did it?

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They’re ok if it doesn’t lead to violence and if they don’t mess up prosecutions. Bit difficult to know what else can happen if the constabulary can’t do it.

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I am just flabbergasted. Mind you, that was how Jolley was caught and a seminarian from England a couple of years ago.

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My only worry is that some awful lawyer would use these sting operations to get a person off by saying the confession was made under duress. I’m very glad indeed that he’s been arrested.

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That seminarian got several pious/conservative sems kicked out of Maynooth before he washed up in a seminary in England.

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I’m the poster at 6.14.
What I mean is I am sickened at vigilante style amateurs doing the job of the police.
At the very least, the question myst be asked, what is the motivation of someone who carries out these operations?
Are they equally committed to the eradication of other vices and crimes?

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An excellent cartoon, full of irony and humour. Its humour and pertinence to your post today far surpasses that of many contributors who often try to be cleverly amusing but fail miserably. I laughed out loud when I saw the cartoon – an excellent addition to your blog.

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Bishop Pat, she’s lucky she never hot that priest in Belfast at the minute that is quizzing distressed young men in confessions about the masterbation habits. I will get to the bottom of this and find out from my brother what parish this happened in.

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The days of penitents pouring out their guilt about sexual (im)morality are long gone. The norm in the 60’s – 80’s have almost disappeared. Was often shocked at the older men and women who confessed such sins of sexual misdeeds, especially when I Wasn’t li g ordained. I thiught about such isdues and took the advice of a very good confessor: always listen with compassion and uderstanding: always affirm peoole in their innate goodness and dignity and only talk when necessary. Had to tell penitent that there were other more serious issues to reflect on: charity at home: forgiveness in relationships: justice for the poor: prayerful relationship with God: family conflicts: neighbourly compassion, parish involvement…..etc…..Times have changed. Indeed they have: Now I sit waiting for the 85 year olds to ask forgiveness for all past sins!!!

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10.30 am. Your poor parishoners don’t realise that you mock and judge them when they confess to you.

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10.21: Where in my comnent do I mock and judge any penitent? I merely said – “now I sit and wait for 85 year olds to ask forgiveness for all past sins!!..” This was said by way of describing the reality of change but also by way of acknowledging the guilt we placed upon a generation of people in the past. Penitents of whatever age receive only kindness and care from me. Lighten up, you crusty old sod: 😂😂😊😊🤣🤣😅😆

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@12.21 Lovely way you end your comment, your reverence. Is it any wonder people cross the street when they see a priest and won’t be alone in a room with them.

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What an embarrassment, Bp Pat. An extreme example, but it just goes to show how easy it is to brainwash some people.

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1.19: With that comment, you most definitely are “a crusty old sod!!”. Lighten up. We need a little humour. I’ll be very kind to you in confession. Honestly. 😎☺😅😃🤣…the full stations of the cross – twice!! 😅🤣😍😎..

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I find Persil Non bio great for those kind of stains. She must have reared savages to have them using sheets to clean themselves. Did she never learn to leave boxes of man sized paper tissues in the lads bedrooms. That’s what we did with our son. Maybe it’s a northern thing to be so feral.

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Bishop Pat, I’m not sure if word got back to Fr Hickland regarding his recent behaviour, but he was like a different soul today. Thank you for the platform to raise genuine concerns regarding priests behaviour.

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It was exactly I experienced it wbeb a certain CBS quizzed me re stains on bed. Did it come out naturally or was it M you know. As a teenager that time, I was quite puzzled by him and his questions. What rights had he to know re stains on bed? But it was common knowledge as he quizzed a lof of deaf boys on this so I was clued up if called up which it did.

He frequently said ‘M’ was a sin cos we hadnt a clue cos no religion teaching or RC teaching in deaf schools. It was like age 5 at RC instruction education class. Nor catechism was taught. I was also quite puzzled that older deaf people well over 70s and 70s were well versed on catechism as they talked about it. I had no interest except for how were they taught in the past as opposed to my time. It was quite different teaching methods apparently. He got better education than I was but less street wise than I was re wiles and tricks of RC religious orders.

That sin cbs used to call it was ‘impurity’ as I never knew it until I came across some article here and there back then.

There was no mention of sex in the bible from my recollection. All jesus said was sin no more when he met a woman with 6 husbands. Nor did he mention sex there.

It left me wondering if NT was corrupted in some way cos I have no way of knowing it.

There are some apparitions out there for instance, Fatima that I don’t believe in. Cos she mention impurities there to one of the children. Thought that Fatima apparition was a fraud cos devil could masquerade as a virgin Mary or an angel of fatima as we could be easily fooled. I went there myself as I came out convinced it was a money spinning operation cos I never heard nor seen any cured person or healing mentioned there.

Sheer obsession with fatima that some people have put me off big time. They used her words here abd there but I regards fatima as divisive in relation to 3rd secret of fatima. It caused a lot of controversy when the Vatican released the 3rd secret. Hence the division among the people which I consider it as proof that it can’t be work of god.

Knock did mention healing stories as I did experience it there at knock despite my skepticism.

There was some apparitions that I came across or which I taught it was fake such as our lady blessing people (but she had no priestly power, correct?), black rosary, too much obsession with impurities,her words could be twisted to suit rcc narrative etc.

Thought seven capital sins were lot worse than impurities?

Any comments on 👆 as it would be deeply much appreciated cos I’m learning everyday something new.

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Bishop Pat, I was a housekeeper for many years with a late priest. The things I found in my dealings I have mentioned before. Used condoms, empty bottles of vodka, poppers, penis rings, used tissues and socks. But he was well thought of within the local community and at that time I never said anything but I did frown upon him. Now thanks to your blog I’m glad I never said anything as I should not have judged him. Thank you

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Should Father not have used a locked drawer or cupboard to stock his things in knowing that you had access?

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Hi Pat, he really ought to have done so. I was angry back in the day, but now I realise we are all only human. Would these things be allowed?

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I succeeded a very well respected parish priest. He took a house in the parish and was esteemed by his former parishioners in his retirement until his death. In the presbytery attic, I found an old suitcase which contained his collection of erotic magazines ‘titbits’ and a pair of crusty tights. There was also extensive correspondence with a young woman he addressed as ‘Foxy’, which soon became apparent that they had a sexual relationship. I burnt the lot, and he went to his grave as a good and holy priest.

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I was born in 1977 how would I have known of Titbits magazine? I don’t judge him. Looks like it was consensual and I’d rather him wanking over a dirty mag then touch up children.

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The Catechism cites the 1975 document Persona Humana from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in its statement. Persona Humana Chapter 9 attempts to explain the Church’s teaching on masturbation in the context of its broader teaching on the human person and the moral quality of human actions. This document is worth citing at length:
The traditional Catholic doctrine that masturbation constitutes a grave moral disorder is often called into doubt or expressly denied today. It is said that psychology and sociology show that it is a normal phenomenon of sexual development, especially among the young. It is stated that there is real and serious fault only in the measure that the subject deliberately indulges in solitary pleasure closed in on self (“ipsation”), because in this case the act would indeed be radically opposed to the loving communion between persons of different sex which some hold is what is principally sought in the use of the sexual faculty.
This opinion is contradictory to the teaching and pastoral practice of the Catholic Church. Whatever the force of certain arguments of a biological and philosophical nature, which have sometimes been used by theologians, in fact both the Magisterium of the Church–in the course of a constant tradition– and the moral sense of the faithful have declared without hesitation that masturbation is an intrinsically and seriously disordered act.
The main reason is that, whatever the motive for acting this way, the deliberate use of the sexual faculty outside normal conjugal relations essentially contradicts the finality of the faculty. For it lacks the sexual relationship called for by the moral order, namely the relationship which realizes “the full sense of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love.” All deliberate exercise of sexuality must be reserved to this regular relationship. Even if it cannot be proved that Scripture condemns this sin by name, the tradition of the Church has rightly understood it to be condemned in the New Testament when the latter speaks of “impurity,” “unchasteness” and other vices contrary to chastity and continence.
Sociological surveys are able to show the frequency of this disorder according to the places, populations or circumstances studied. In this way facts are discovered, but facts do not constitute a criterion for judging the moral value of human acts. The frequency of the phenomenon in question is certainly to be linked with man’s innate weakness following original sin; but it is also to be linked with the loss of a sense of God, with the corruption of morals engendered by the commercialization of vice, with the unrestrained licentiousness of so many public entertainments and publications, as well as with the neglect of modesty, which is the guardian of chastity.
On the subject of masturbation modern psychology provides much valid and useful information for formulating a more equitable judgment on moral responsibility and for orienting pastoral action. Psychology helps one to see how the immaturity of adolescence (which can sometimes persist after that age), psychological imbalance or habit can influence behavior, diminishing the deliberate character of the act and bringing about a situation whereby subjectively there may not always be serious fault. But in general, the absence of serious responsibility must not be presumed; this would be to misunderstand people’s moral capacity.
In the pastoral ministry, in order to form an adequate judgment in concrete cases, the habitual behavior of people will be considered in its totality, not only with regard to the individual’s practice of charity and of justice but also with regard to the individual’s care in observing the particular precepts of chastity. In particular, one will have to examine whether the individual is using the necessary means, both natural and supernatural, which Christian asceticism from its long experience recommends for overcoming the passions and progressing in virtue (Persona Humana, 9).

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Masturbation is not a sign of immaturity or maturity. Men of all ages masturbate whether they are married or single makes no difference they would laugh at anyone who thinks it’s a phase you go through or a sin that has to be confessed. You have to masturbate to a certain degree during intercourse anyway. It’s shocking how ignorant some people are in the Church about the facts of life.

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As a general rule anyone quoting any documents from the RC church about sex doesn’t understand sex.

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Thank you for quoting this, 1:22. I like to remind myself now and then why I became an Anglican.

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7.07pm. Their loss, our gain. What was the cause of turning Anglican? Divorce or homosexuality? It’s one or the other when Catholics swim the Thames.

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One of the most interesting things about Roman Catholics is the very revealing reaction you get when Anglicans are mentioned. Not anyone else although I have seen something similar in areas where Orthodoxy was dominant.
It’s almost as if it’s about control and the market share 😂

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Market share? I don’t think Waitrose is worried about people who go to Lidl.

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8:46 Thanks for your unusually honest admission that the church is a business aimed at profit. If you are a Christian you may care to join a Christian church instead.

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Informer moles in our parishes who report directly to their Bishops - unethical tactics which undermine our basic freedoms and rights in order to procure a clerical chosen synodal path for the "future."says:

There are rumors that the Bishop of our Archdiocese has informers, in some, if not, more, of our parishes. There must be some truth in this, I’m sure.
I was also told +Libby Lane Also has a mole!
.
https://www.google.com/search?q=libby+lane&oq=libby+lane&aqs=chrome.0.69i59j46i512j0i512j46i175i199i512j0i512.2657j0j7&client=ms-android-motorola-rvo3&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8&chrome_dse_attribution=1#imgrc=dP45sy7yBbpnBM:

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I once had to console a female numerary of Opus Dei after her father’s death. He attended daily mass and was a widower. On clearing his flat following his death, she found a collection of pornographic magazines and was beside herself that her father may have died in mortal sin.

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I forgot to mention that a certain cbs who quizzed us, after his death, some collection of pornographic magazine were found in his office. Some of it (not all of it) were taken off deaf boys as corporal punishment was issued via leather straps or a warning.
They found it re magazines when building was about to be razed and demolition followed. When we heard it as we weren’t surprised cis there was something else about him that’s he wasn’t telling us. Now we know after that discovery of these mags.
Double standards eh? 😉

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Pat our PP helps people fraudulently fill in PIP forms, formerly DLA. How do I approach him about this in a non confrontational way?

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Emma
Mind your own business as Father will only be writing what the people inform him and trying his best for his parishioners.
Father and even the Bishop would tell you to mind your own business.
The people have enough hoops to go through to get benefits however the Government is transforming the system as the DWP contractors are getting to much money.
It has taken the Government a long time to realise that some illnesses are never going to go away so when keep paying the contactors to question the people.
If you think there is fraud then report it.
I guess you do nothing for the parish, the sick, the lonely, the housebound or any charitable work.

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Emma if you’re a tax payer it is your business as it’s your money, no priests should be helping these fraudsters. There are far too many of them who will neither work or want and live off benefits for years. They have to be brought to book and get up off their arses and be made to work like the rest of us. If this priest is helping anyone to make fraudulent claims he has to prosecuted as well.

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10.26pm

Masturbation:

99 per cent of human beings ‘wank’ or rather tellingly in Catholic circles ‘beat the bishop’ and the 1 per cent who insist they don’t that’s easy to figure out, their just relationship with reality and the truth is looser, their simply lying!!

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12.14pm

Isn’t this site for adults?

You sound like your 14 and venting the views of an immature teenager – ones trade or profession doesn’t identify ones orientation – I know effeminate hair dressers who are as straight as their hair dye and masculine and butch wrestlers and soldiers who are as gay as the day is long.
Bits on the side?
Seems to me you rather enjoy having your hair cut by a man?
All you need to do ducky is grow up a little and you’ll be fine.
I sense your a seminarian or struggling priest – all that pent up rage and sexual frustration bubbling up to the surface in need of release.

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You have accurately described the development and maturity of every priest. 3:19 is another example and who really would be more at home working in a gay bath house.
They’ll protest until their blue in the face but the church is doomed and it’s the church itself doing it. They had enough sheep and donations to allow for the many, many, rotten apples.

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5.09: Anon: you are all mixed up. You are not an intelligent commenter. You do not even appear knowledgeable about sexual issues, psychological maturity etc…all silly guesswork. You are another exaggerater. A liar. You must be blue in the face with your faux indignation.

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1.22pm

I read your long post thoroughly and carefully and thought it a magnificent example of frustrated and confused sexology clinging rigidly to doctrine that is obsolete and didn’t even develop it just got overwhelmed by modernity, biology and human experience.
Instead of writing such dribble you’d be better off just having having a comforting wank – this much I know people who bang on about Catholic morality invariably are compromised themselves or in denial.

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Well said @3:58.
I read about half of 1:22’s comment. That was enough! It’s repetitious recital of outdated irrelevant and totally inappropriate RC gobbledygook “theology” is simply laughable.
And despite what anyone tells him, he’ll still believe he’s right.

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Yes. And the most ridiculous bit is
‘the moral sense of the faithful’.
That’s right. In the church whose bishops always make out they don’t know child abuse is illegal when they end up in court.
If they had any pastoral sense at all the church would just shut up about sex permanently, out of shame

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Up to you, Kelvin Kevin. No doubt you’ll be able to explain yourself at the Last Trump.

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8:05 I’m sure you’d rather he explained himself to a masturbating priest in confession.

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6.42: A social worker?? My God, what a legacy this profession has left with its multitude of abysmal failures re: children being abused by foster parents: families destroyed by accusations, children placed in adult wards in psychiatric units..Don’t get me going. I have personal experience and took a case against this profession for the way a family member was treated…..Ask Pat his opinion on sicial workers. .

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During the early part of the pandemic, NI social workers couldn’t get foster parents, so children in need of care were placed, unaccompanied, in B&Bs outside the jurisdiction.

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Dear Holy, a friend and I use to go to church as a safe haven, to masterbate together and touch each other up. Will I be forgiven for this act? The guilt has ate away at me for years.

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I was never quizzed by any priest in confession about masturbation or any other sexual sins.
If I confessed those sins, the priests never mentioned them. I got absolution and did my penance which was not severe.
It is a nasty and perverse caricature to portray priests in the confessional acting in a prurient manner.
When I was growing up, our local parish priest was a good and holy man who helped me overcome being scrupulous with which I was afflicted being of an anxious disposition.

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5.39pm: Ignore the naysayers on here who want to tackle you over your contribution, They just have axes to grind and want to paint it as the norm. I am not far off seventy, and I can say in all the years I have had just one bad experience of a confession, when a priest berated me for what I had confessed. Mind you, he had shouted at a girl young enough to have been making a second or so confession. She was in right before me. Such priests, in my experience, are a minority. Being old enough and ugly enough, I put him in his place which he didn’t like, but it quietened him down and he gave me absolution. I also made it clear I was not accepting absolution for my correction of him as he deserved it!
Priests are like dentists, one rough one puts you on your guard for the rest of your life, even though you have had better experiences with the rest.
Thank God you have only experienced kindness and helpfulness.

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7.34: But you are making judgments. You, sir/miss are dismissing the positive experience of another person. Why question the validity of his experience, which incidentally is similar to my experience and That of 1000’s. We’re not all silly and pervy like you!!:

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‘father’ isn’t your doctor bothered about your blood pressure or is your ranting merely a trolling act for the blog?

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If the church was consistent its approach to sex would also apply to food. Both are biological necessities that keep us alive but only sex is only supposed to be for its biological purpose. Otherwise people should be confessing that they ate a bar of chocolate when they weren’t hungry and purely for the pleasure. 😛

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You need to eat, but food in the wrong context is an occasion of sin, eg gluttony.

Also, if you didn’t eat you’d die. You wouldn’t die if you didn’t have sexual activity, especially if your lover is just your hand.

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8:01
If sexual activity stopped the human race would die.
Sorry this discussion is beyond you.

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8.24pm are you another handy-andy? Yes, in general reproduction is a necessity to having more humans, but it is not a biological necessity of everyone, in the way food is, which is what the poster suggested. Anyway, what most of the people here are talking about is making love to a box of Kleenex.

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5.39pm
Don’t be immature – your experience involved the priest not probing or prying other people’s experiences are different from yours -it’s not nasty or perverse but simply someone’s experience which you should respect without passing judgement.
How do you know your priest was good and holy? Are you his judge?

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Some years back, within the last decade, a youngish Dominican priest was discovered to have asked questions about masturbation during school confessions in a boys secondary school in Cork city.
It would be interesting to see what became of him. Left, I suppose, and finding himself.

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All the Wayne Kerr’s are out in force today, Pat, and trying to justify their solo vice.

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Maynooth looking very pretty and wholesome, though looks can be deceiving. Note also how they arecrebranding themselves as St Patrick’s Pontifical University, with the seminary a poor relation and soon to move out of its historic home to a small building.

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10:26 is the most significant comment today and confirms that the church wants the clergy and laity to live in a prepubescent fantasy world.
Unless they’ve absolutely got to pop out another sheep of course.

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“Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, there’s always laughter and good red wine. At least I’ve always found it so. Benedicamus Domino!”

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