On this blog I am constantly asked two questions:
1. Did I witness homosexuality in my time in seminary?
2. Did I engage in homosexuality in seminary?
I am, of course, aware that many of those anonymous questioners are nasty cynical and sexually active clergy.
CLONLIFFE – 1970 – 1973
There was a hidden, very hidden, homosexual underground in Clonliffe in my time.
But it involved a tiny minority of the 120 who were there in my time.
I was personally aware of only one situation that involved Peter Meldon, later ordained, and a young guy a year junior to me.
In that case, Meldon, not a nice man at all, did the grooming and seducing.
It caused the younger guy great distress, and he used to discuss it with me.
When it was found out, Meldon was ordained and the younger guy expelled.
I lost touch with the younger guy. If he’s reading this , get in touch.
INVESTIGATION
Clonliffe president, Bishop Joe Carroll got wind of the homosexuality and asked a senior seminarian, PEARSE WALSH ( 😀 ) to investigate.
I never heard what Pearse Walsh reported to Carroll.
Pearson Walsh was an “unlikely” investigator, as those who know him will attest.
Bill Mulvihill has an awful lot to say about Pearse Walsh.
Other names are associated with homosexuality in Clonliffe, including Fr Gay Slattery.
There were also allegations of visiting altar boys being sexually abused at Clonliffe.
WATERFORD
St John’s was a much poorer and much less sophisticated seminaries.
The living conditions were poorer, the food was poorer, and perhaps the academic life was poorer.
The seminarians, mainly from rural areas, were simpler.
But it was a very informal and warm place and so relaxed in comparison to Clonliffe.
I think homosexuality was almost non-existent there.
But there was one exception – an English seminarian who had been introduced to homosexuality at a very young age and who sought to continue to explore his activities there.
He had a number of conquests.
ME
I did not engage in any kind of sexual activity in either seminary.
Of course, I was gay and indeed had the normal attractions and desires.
At the time, I was very serious and pious.
I regarded those things as big sins – mortal sins – and things that would stop me from realising my reason for living – to be a priest.
I was very lonely, very sad, and very psychologically and emotionally immature and afraid.
I often think that one of the few things this time gave me was the ability to say NO to myself.
None of us like saying NO to ourselves.
But it’s an important ability.
We all need internal brakes.
I am not claiming any special virtue by my not engaging in sexual practices in seminary.
It was as it was.
Would such experimentation have made me a less repressed person, a more integrated person.
I simply don’t know?
But I would not have wanted to become another Purcell, JPL, etc
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